How To Be A Genius

Intelligence is measured by our ability to adapt and learn new things through logic, it’s called an IQ (intelligence quotient).

First you have to let go of your expectations of achieving the statues.

Second you have to be curious about everything, don’t restrict your mind to one thing.

Third you have to learn math and science and about the universe. Find yourself in your journey. Where do you fit in?

Forth explore the world and possibilities. Be bold and brave, get creative too.

Fifth make yourself stressed, learn your limitations by meditating on it, accept it.

Sixth read and write anything you can think of. Be a philosopher. Learn a new skill focus on it until you master it and move on to another. Test old skills often.

Last, don’t be upset if you are not a genius after all the work. A genius can adapt using
logical thinking with ease. I am pretty sure people are born geniuses sometimes it’s caused by brain injury. You’ll find out if you are capable by trying.

There are some people who are uneducated who believe there’s an IQ type called EQ which doesn’t excit. It is (emotional quotient). A journalist named Daniel Goleman made it up. You can’t make up words and claim it’s true. It doesn’t change the truth. IQ is partly emotional intelligence so they are the same thing. You can’t make logical choice without emotional response I know from experience. My IQ grows as well my emotional awareness. They are one. My IQ is 200 and above. I know for fact I am smarter than I was when I took the IQ test. I have learned alot of things
since than. I can’t forget what I’ve already
learned. For me its like riding a bike. I am very quick at consuming my processing, like what I see and hear as well feel. It can cause sensory overload and deftness. I’ve learned to accept it and take my time instead of thinking I have to do anything. I have a choice to take a break or keep going and cause an autistic milt down. It’s painful and I’d rather take a break. Your ability to survive relies on your ability to allow yourself to experience everything. It’s okay to not be okay. You learn how to live by experiencing both up’s and downs. We need flaws to learn from. Mistakes make great lessons. I was afraid of everything when I was younger, because I knew everything was slowly adjusting itself and I can’t stop the decay. I had to face my fear of death to lose my fear of everything. My ignorance fed my fear’s. Now I know it’s okay, I need to accept it if I want to be happy. It’s not bad. People make it seem bad. Those people are abusive using fear to dictate others. How can you forgive others if you only see the bad? It says a lot about what you think of yourself too. If you are too blinded by your own point of view you will never see the possibilities. That’s party emotional awareness, it can help you make good decisions by using logical choices to navigate through life. You are not alone.

I thought it would be cool to share with you my knowledge. I researched a lot to write this post. I also shared mostly my personal experience. I am not bragging, I am not special because I have a higher IQ. I suffer a lot more than the overage person because it’s stressful knowing I can’t change anything unless it’s ready to change. The only thing I can dictate is myself. If I hit a wall I have to find away around it. I am just willing to learn how to do it and I never give up. There are so many possibilities. I could go on for days telling all the possibilities. That would be too much for you guys. I will end here. Thank you for reading this. I love you guys very much. Peace be with you my friends. Boop! I booped your nose, bye. πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ƒπŸ‘©β€πŸ¦ΌπŸ¦‡

Peace Be With You

Upon words truth can fly,
as so many others spit out lie’s.
Like dragons protecting their
egos, they drink the views
and soak up the fire like it’s
their only desire.

On the edge of society live
the mad and insane, the internet
is not to blame. People control the
platform on which we stand today.

Our future depends on if we can change
those who claim to want to rule
this board game of life.

If we fail we still have to fight.

Freedom is our goal, for our brothers and sisters fought mightily and bravely for our future.

It is important to stand strong as
a community.

Peace starts with one word, love.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

A Twinkle Of Wonder

Upon the beams of light
the stars dance with such

As the moon swoons and
bows he wipes his dusty
brow, shakes is luner booty
for the people on the Earth’s

The stars wink and pass by
in a trail of gas and carbon.

A beautiful sight to behold,
as wonder twinkles in each

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

A Philosophers Plot

Amunst the books I am most comfortable
for paper and ink never judges me.

It takes me to possibilities of
vast knowledge and brings me to a
special journey to the center of
my imagination.

I fought battles with bat people and
Joan Of Arc. I swam in alien oceans
and flew with fleet’s of flying fish
that came from my imagination leaping
forth from the depths of the pages.

I wrote some of these stories.

Books have secrets waiting to be
discovered you just have to get
passed the cover.

My ability to write poetry
brought me to the edge of
my creativity.

My poetic plot’s are hydrated
by my inspiration and muse books
upon books.

I’ve got hundreds piled inside
my vast memory bank.

I have no need to make space
for my brain is wired differently.

Reading is good practice for writing,
for a good writer can dissect how
another writer creates their own plots.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Cluster Headaches Are What’s For Dinner Tonight

It knocks upon my right side of my head,
with a grip of pain deeper than my grave.

It grabs me by the eyeball scratching
and pulling.

It brings its claws of vice, pokers of
searing agany to scorch my nerves
causing my body to quiver and quake.

My screams are silent,
My agany glooms while doom
consumes everything with pain.

My painful reality looms over
my life, waiting in the dark
to strike.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

The Ghost Of Lover’s Passed

As the feeling rises from
the depths of me, I guess feelings can travel too

My heart is blind, impatient
and frozen. I am waiting
for you.

This cage time has created
keeps me trapped.

A ghost of a memory
still lives on in some
long forgotten time.

I can imagine it is true.

Your lost kisses are mine
to find. After all, my heart
is like a pocket watch,
it ticks for you.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

I Made A Special Piece Of Art For My Poem Dear Depression

I added this to my Deviantart profile. You may view my account by clicking on the picture.

Dear Depression

Dear depression, I forgave you
but never forgot you.

Dear depression, you beat me up
left me lonely and drowning in
the fog.

I ran from you,
I swam far into the
crashing waves for you,
I got lost within your
gray clouds.

You lied to me,
you stabbed me,
you crushed my inspiration
and caused me frustration.

You stole my self-esteem,
blew my heart away like
a leaf, it slowly faded
into the breeze.

I claimed your highest mountains,
I crawled through your thorny roses,
I fight your shadows of sadness.

Dear depression, I am saying goodbye
for I’ve gotten to the other side.

The signs say farewell, at the end
it says welcome to possibilities.

Now I am greeted by a smile
it’s my souls reflection.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

My Device Is Activated

Hello my lovelies, I went to my doctor appointment today. It’s going to be a slow progress to get the best results. I can already move better. The burning in my lems is going away too. I did wake up this morning with a cluster headache so I am dealing with it. I had two cluster headache attacks at the doctor office. I still feel it in my head. I should feel better tomorrow.

My Ex boyfriend Has Caused More Trouble

Hello my lovelies, I have bad news. My ex boyfriend was doing well past week until two days ago. As you already know I have been sick dealing with my own health problems. So Lisa came by on Sunday to see me and drop off my money for shopping. While we were hanging out my ex boyfriend comes in without knocking. He was acting odd. He claimed to have taken ten of his new pills his doctor from mental health subscribed. He asked me for my phone. Yet he couldn’t use it because he was too screwed up. He proceeded to lay on my living floor. Lisa told him to get up. He then said okay I will lay on the couch and got up. Lisa decided to give him the couch and she got up. He laid down and wouldn’t listen to us we told him to setup and move around. He demanded we call an ambulance. Lisa was able to use my phone to contact his mom and she came to get him. He got better because his mom helped him move around and drink water. He even contacted me to apologize. The next day he was acting nice and sorry. He apologized for his behavior again. On Thursday morning I saw him when I was leaving for a doctor appointment. He seemed okay. I texted him when I got home and he didn’t answer. I texted him one last time later and he still didn’t answer. I thought maybe he needs space so I didn’t say anything else. Last night I get a text from his mom asking if I seen him and I said no he’s not even answering his phone. I found out he was doing the same thing to her. I sent him another message. He finally responds. He claimed he doesn’t need anyone controlling him and he’s capable of taking care of himself. I never tried to control him. He accused his mom and I of being controlling over his life. When we are not at all controlling his life. He does whatever he wants and he’s not capable of taking care of himself. He should be seeing his doctor but he hasn’t and his mom tried to tell him but he doesn’t care. And the apartment complex has very strict rules about mental health as well as drugs. We have to take our medication as subscribed and no dealing nor using drugs. If anyone who lives here gets caught dealing drugs or not taking their meditation, they could lose their apartment. We are a HUD community. He also, attacked his mom. Claiming she needs to act like a grown woman and accused her of abusing him. She is a beautiful and amazing woman by the way. She has no abusive bone in her body. She actually was abused by her son’s father and her second husband and worked hard to heal. She raised him while his father neglected him. My ex boyfriend on the other hand is abusive to everyone. He gives his things away claiming to want to help people but later he wants everything back and he didn’t mean to give his things away. He has accused innocent people of abusing him after he lied and stole from them. Now he’s doing it again. His mom is my best friend so we talked about it. We are letting him go we are both through with being abused by him. I cried for her when we hung up after our chat on the phone. She is having to let her only child go. That’s horrible. But it has to be done. He told us he hates us. He doesn’t want us in his life. We are not going to control him it’s not our life. He’s supposed to be a grown man. He doesn’t act like one. I do believe he’s a narcissist. He’s very wishy-washy and never finishes anything. He will try to manipulate people so he can get his way but abuse them if he is unhappy. He is a mooch and a controlling monster. He said he was going to help me organize my apartment but he tried to take over to make it look and feel the way he wants before we began instead of making me comfortable in my home. We ended up not doing it. I am glad because I know he would have left my apartment a mess. His own apartment is stacked with stuff wall to wall. He says he’s comfortable with it. I would have nightmares if I had stacks of electronics on white metal shelves in my room surrounding my bed. He also has a giant hole in his wall beside his bed with scribbles around it. It doesn’t make sense. Also, he should have told the manager so they can fix it. I am pretty sure he punched the wall and tried to cover it up. Also, I am not hurt like before. I was prepared for this. I saw it coming a few days before it happened. I learned from the past experiences I had with him. This is the last time I am going to allow him near me. I am done. He had his chances. There’s a limit. Also, this happened suddenly, he flipped. He was a nice guy for awhile before he turned into the narcissistic abusive bully. I believe he was manipulating us and gave up after he wasn’t getting everything he wanted. He wants to be an addict and greedy mooch. Well, he’s not well liked because of it so good luck Chuck. He’s a no good human being. He will lose his apartment if he doesn’t see his doctor and healthcare providers. I guess he doesn’t want to have a home. Also, he is on government assistance and rent is too high anywhere else. He wouldn’t be able to afford food and cigarettes because he is addicted to buying junk. He doesn’t want to live on a budget. Who wants to live on a budget? It’s not a choice, it’s a must because of the lack of money.

I have something to teach you guys. Please if someone is accusing you have things and you haven't done anything get away from them now. It doesn't matter if it's your family or friend. That's abusive and wrong. You have the right to get away from that situation. If you are a young person go to your nieghbors and ask them to help you or go to a nearby store and tell the workers. If they are good people they will call child protective services. You should also do the same if you are an adult in a relationship with an abuser. Don't allow anyone to abuse you. You are worth so much. There are people who love you. You have to find them. Life is too short to always be afraid. Be bold and brave. Be kind to each other and humanity will prosper. Boop! I booped your nose, bye. πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ƒβ€οΈπŸ‘©β€πŸ¦ΌπŸ¦‡ 

Gallbladder Betrayal – You Tried To Kill Me But I Won

I almost was stoned to death by a faulty gallbladder. I got sick when I was nine years old, I doubled over in pain threw up for
two days. That was the beginning of the battle, even though at the age of eleven
the doctor found out about the stones
nothing was done. So my gallbladder decided to do the job for me, on June 9th of my fourteenth year I started to feel sick but something in my soul told me this was going to be different. I told my mom and she listened to me, we asked the manager and friend to babysit me because I trusted her. I told her I knew I might die and she will need to call the ambulance when I tell her to. Mom said okay sissy, you are a bit dramatic. I was like yeah buddy, I knew exactly what was coming. I know how stones form in the gallbladder,it had years to build more. I could feel it too. After three hours of me throwing up doubled over the toilet and bathtub, I felt a boop! In my side and slowly I felt great. I was like, oh no, nope not good! If my gallbladder was still there why would I not have pain? I ran into the living room and told my friend call 911 and mom now. She saw me and freaked out a bit I was quickly turning yellow and green, she called 911 and mom. I was rushed to surgery before I was out of the ambulance. I was yellow and green for a month after that. They removed twenty stones the size of gulf balls in my track, and a one foot sized stone
broke up when the gallbladder exploded. I had two bags hanging from my gut helping to drain the toxic waste that my gallbladder normal would do, for two months, and I healed slowly but well. I am very blessed to be alive. I have also fought infections that went to my blood stream. I have tried to prevent sickness but my body doesn’t care. I get a small infection and it has trouble fighting it. I have an overactive immune system. It’s not good. Also, I know how I got nerve damage it was from long term stress. I am not diabetic nor could the doctor find anything else. I have advice for you, please don’t let yourself be stressed out for long periods get help. Go to your doctor and talk to them about councilling. They should request a councilor and mental health services. We all deserve peace of mind and happiness. Also, don’t expect to always be happy and content. It’s okay not to be okay. Acceptance is the key to success and prosperity. Love is acceptance so love yourself too. I do. Boop! Love you guys with all my heart and I have a bottomless heart. I have room for everyone and your pets furry and hairless too, lots of legs, we can dance to. β£οΈπŸ‘©β€πŸ¦ΌπŸ¦‡

Pain & Struggle

The pain I suffer is great
but my fight is stronger than
the pain.

My nerves are damaged beyond
repair but I still find the
will to keep breathing.

It’s not easy my friends,
pain is exhausting and

It feels like I am burning
itching and hot pokers are
stabbing me.

My nose is running and I sneeze
more often, mucus builds up with
a scratchy throat.

I don’t have a cold or flu,
its just how my body reacts.

Doctor’s don’t know what to do,
they are learning too.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Creative Deluge

The space in my mind
is too small for my
poetic designs.

It’s overflowing with
creative junk, this is
the deluge.

I am building you a boat
so you can enjoy my river.

So, I am stuck in the dark,
until 4th of June.

I am part android, so I am
dictated by technology that
is emplaced within my brain.

This expressive jig is shaking
the creativity free from my
mind. It’s thickening slowly
as I drop the words line by line.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Spooky Time – Welcome To My Reality

This takes place in the early 90’s. I was being tested for health conditions I suffer from and the doctor was in another county. This was our second trip. We had to use the highway. When we got half way to our destination I started getting sick. We ended up pulling over so I could throw up. That is normal for me to do. I thought I was car sick. But as I went to get back into the car, I saw in the back of my mind images of a crash with a motor bike, it was red with black leather trim. The rider was laying on the road under a plastic cover. Two other people were setting on the side injured and emergency vehicles and police were working. It slowly faded. I told mom we need to wait before leaving. So we did. After twenty minutes we saw a motorcycle fly by and two other vehicles. They looked exactly like the ones in my vision. I screamed and told mom what I saw. She told me it wasn’t real but I told her then why did the same motorcycle and car’s just drive by? That’s when we heard the sound of crushing metal and plastic, and breaks screeching. Three minutes after that a woman in a helmet came to my window and kneeled down by my door. Mom couldn’t see her or hear her. The woman asked me to help her she wanted me to tell her husband she was sorry and she loved him. She looked up at me and she was missing half of her face. She got up and walked away. Mom saw her fade into view before fading away. We cried for awhile and then started to leave. If we wouldn’t have stopped we would have been part of the crash. I don’t understand everything that happens. This is one of those things I don’t understand. Mom and I use to talk about it when we went on road trips together. We were careful after that. If I felt sick we always pulled over and meditated for awhile. Mom was very good at helping me deal with moments like that. She told me it’s okay. We will handle it together. I don’t know what to think. I still have questions. I am not sure if it was real or my imagination and mom was experiencing it with me. Reality is complex and complicated.

"Upon a waking dream comes visions of possibilities. Open your mind and the truth will shine but the illusionist is blind. We should question reality before believing the view because we are illusionists." Β© 2021 By Amanda D Shelton 

My Allergy To The Sun

Upon the rising sun,
my pain has begun.

Within the night
I take flight.

Upon the breeze I am
like a sneeze, I blow about
searching for relief.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

My Battle With Xeroderma, UV Allergy

Hello my lovelies, I wanted to share with you my personal struggle with a rare allergy to sunlight or UV light. It’s called Xeroderma. I can’t be exposed to ultraviolet (UV) light. Anything that emits UV light, including the sun and some lightbulbs. I have scar’s on my arms and upper body from UV exposure. It’s painful too. It can cause asthma and full body hives. It can be genetic but I don’t know what side of my family has it. I might be unique and the first to have the condition in my family. Yesterday I started having problems with my allergies. I did have my door open most of the day. I am pretty sure pollen and the combination of UV light, I caused myself trouble. I got really sick this morning. All night I was getting worse. After I took my inhaler and drank tea with honey, I am feeling better. Also, I cleaned out my nose and throat. Joyce cleaned my apartment to. It always helps. Sadly, I am forced to live like a vampire. This is why I didn’t like my childhood I can’t live like a normal person. Everything I do is organized around my disabilities. My body is always trying to choke me. I get through an infection but then another comes after that allergies settle in. It can be exhausting. I think I will get better when I get my device activated. I need to move around so my immune system can work properly. I understand I will always be allergic to the sun but at least I will be able to move and do my normal routines again. June 4th is my appointment for my device activation. I can’t wait.

My Allergy To The Sun

Upon the rising sun,
my pain has begun.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Boo My Beloved Kitty Has Passed Away Today

Hello my lovelies, I have sad news. Boo passed away at 10:00 am today. She passed away in Seanys arms with her favorite people beside her. Joyce, Sean, and I held her while she took her last breath. She fought hard. She cried for love before she passed. I knew she was saying goodbye. She was a very loving and smart kitty. I am heartbroken πŸ’”πŸΎ. I am going to wait for awhile before getting another cat but I am going to get another. Lisa has a friend who rescues kittens. I will think about it. I need a companion. I have never been alone before. I will be okay. I need to grieve. I have support of my community too. Most of my neighbors already know what happened. I have been keeping everyone updated. Boo was a unique soul. She loved me so much and I loved her. I shared her with anyone who wanted to listen.

In memoriam of Sassy Nanny Pooh, Boo.

You are engraved upon my life. You are forever in my heart. I shed tears of grieve for I miss you so very much.

You are my best friend and companion. I love you my baby Boo. Goodbye for now my fury friend. May we meet once again at the gates of heaven.

RIP Sassy Pooh – You were the best at peek-a-boo and cuddling with me. You comforted me and fought bravely until the end.

Moonlight Traveler

Dear Dreamer,
Your dreams are birthed
in the cover of night.

You collide with the stars
as your eyelids fall,
and awaken all possibilities.

Dreams are sweeter than
honey or wine.

Some are filled with
nightmare’s and shadows
stalking each step you make.

A night to remember,
a night of delight,
a night for moonlight travelers,
traveling on a blanket of stars
and the moons light is their cover.

Β© By Amanda D Shelton


I woke to vibrating feet,
choking on mucus and pain,
blurred vision slowly focusing.

I am like a moonflower,
I should bloom with the
rising sun, my roots
are strong and pliable.
But my blooms are night blossoms.

Sometimes the ocean flood’s
the valley, I am left floating
forced to follow the waves.

I have learned to be calm
and enjoy the view.

Though, patience was the hardest
to achieve, it starts with acceptance.

Acceptance is like a double edge sword,
it is stronger but harder.

If I wasn’t determined like I am,
I would have given up before I started.

I am willing to climb mountains in
pain and blood. My drive is powerful.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Blossoming Expression’s

This is one of my blooming
thoughts from creativity
I have been cultivating
for some time.

It’s become rooted in
ideas and technology.

Yeah, I have a story to tell,
a word painting dripping with
blood and tears I’ve collected
over the years.

Suffering hydrates my poetic garden, of blue wildflowers and yellow oceans of daisies; they lay deep in the plots of my mind.

The roots try to sacrifice
for pain, suffocating my
creativity but it explodes
into blossoming lines of
expression everytime.

Without poetry I would have
exploded with emotional stress, and silence would have
killed my ideas.

This post would be empty and
nothing, without my blossoming

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

I Just Found Out I Still Have A Viral Infection In My Gut

Hello my lovelies, so as most of you know I was very sick on Christmas morning. I ended up in the hospital. I thought it didn’t change and I found out today I was right. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I thought maybe it was my ovary cyst. I am happy to announce the cyst is not an issue. It’s very tiny too. What is going on, I have a virtual stomach infection. Probably from the Dystonia. My muscles don’t work probably so my gut is not able to move like it needs to. Also, I more likely have chronic viral stomach infection. I have suffered from this my whole life. I was always sick as a child. My heart rate is very tacky as well. It likes to stay at 145 sometimes 200 for long periods of time. The Dystonia is more likely the cause. I don’t have anything else that could cause these problems. I have always told everyone, Dystonia wants to kill me. I am fighting it with all my ability. It’s exhausting. Also, I gained weight and I don’t eat much. If I could move around I could keep my weight under control. I don’t like being overweight. It’s not my choice either. I try to move and eat healthy. Right now I am fighting the infection. I am hoping to get better soon. I do believe this will get better when I get my device activated again. I am waiting for June 4th so I can get it activated. It’s a long wait. Even my doctor is upset about it. She said they should have had it setup ahead of time. I wouldn’t have suffered so long. Oh well, as long as I get it done. I am okay with it.

Ash & Bone – Run Bunny Run

Rising slowly below the sun,
the heat burns me but still
I run.

My heart is beating loudly
to the drums, life is crazy
we all are on the run.

Working to ash and bone,
grinding flesh and burning

Work like thefts we’ve got
to reap what we sew or
die on the hamsters wheel
we all are forced to run.

Drinking sweat and blood,
losing sanity to the flood.

Humanity is digging fast,
not fast enough to get through
the mud, the drought is faster
its sucking up all the revenue.

Run bunny run, the hole is
closing fast, you better hurry
before the sun devours everyone.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Broken But Secure – I Survived Broken Dreams

My tear’s burn and sting,
raining down my checks.

Pain stains my skin with
scars of suffering.

I was given broken strings
and weak foundations, I have
built a stronger plot firmly
securing my roots and
strengthening my foundations.

Working with what I’ve got.
It’s easier working with
shorter threads and soft
dirt. My seeds are free
to grow as they please.

I have crawled myself out
of the hole, I have a chair
waiting for me. It’s important
to have a safe spot.

I don’t love my things,
relationships are more
important than greed.

I’ve got many struggles
but many strengths to
hold me up and keep me
clean after I fall.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Planted Dreams – Broken Hearts Dream Of Love

Upon the beams of moonlight
I floated down to you.

I found you on the shore
of my dreams, there
I planted my wishes.

I lost you along the way
to the beaches of my dreams.

I floated alone, amongst the
star’s orbiting the moon of

Love, you forgot me.

You pushed me to the shore,
damaging the possibilities
you promised me.

I was forced to watch you
leave, from the island of
broken dreams.

I am still hopeful,
someday you will come
back to join me.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton


The vastness of time and space,
is that like an ocean of experiences
smooshed together in one moment.

My reality is my own,
a unique place made from
neurons and plasma.

Without my unique views and visions,
for me nothing would exist.

We make reality possible,
we are the breath and life
of all possibilities.

Imagine what you want
now go and work for it.

Without imagination nothing is
possible, you have to be able to
see the future for it to be.

It is an idea.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Dreamers Ocean

On a cold dark road
there was a shimmer
in the distance, like
a ocean chillen in the night
the reflection was clear
and blue.

A cool breeze is blowing
over the hills, as the stars
wink and gaze upon the dark

You think to yourself,
this must be a dream.

Then a lite music slowly begins
to play, the sound is drawing
you closer to the edge of the

A mist starts to gather,
a fog is coming in, the
cool wind kisses your skin.
Chills run down your spine,
goosebumps rise and you shiver
from its icy touch.

The song dances in your mind,
it pokes and pinches your
brain with stimulation from its
heavy sounds of water swooshing

You feel like an ocean of
waves, lisping up and down.

Your mind is drifting upon
a dreamers raft, drifting
deeper into the fog and wind.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Poetic Spider

I burn with passion and fire,
from the depths of myself
swells poetry.

My inkwell never drys,
it just needs refilling
and new designs.

My mind is never empty,
I record every line and
idea as a painting in my

I add to my tapestry of
poetic threads, weaving
a poets web.

Like a poetic spider, I weave
a web of expression.

All my experiences are linked
in my blog of emotional string’s.

I play a little tune, you
read the lyrics and express
your gratitude.

I gracefully bow in thanks.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Summer Has Hit Bakersfield California

Hello my lovelies, so today the heat reached to 90 degrees. Summer has hit. I didn’t realize how hot it was until I looked online. I have been working on making my apartment comfortable for the summer and I finally did it. I think this summer is going to be a comfortable one. I am going to have to keep my door closed. That’s the only thing I don’t like. I will miss the open door and cool breeze. I am going to have to hibernate. Going shopping is going to be harder too. I am probably going to have a few rashes and burns before the summer ends. If I get hot my body will swell up and I will burn in pain. I am mentally preparing myself. There’s nothing I can do exept, accept it. I am going to the doctor to activate my device on June 4th. If someone cancels an appointment the doctor will put me in earlier. I have removed the bandage today and I am healing well. I think my wound looks better than the last surgery. It looks like it’s going to be less bumpy but it might change. Sometimes my scars look smooth at first but grow bumpy and oddly shaped. I am hopeful though.

I hope you are well. Please try to stay safe. Be kind to each other. ❀️ I love you guys so much.

I Got My Surgery Today

I am home everybody. I got my surgery. I have an appointment to have my device turned on, Jun 4th. The doctor is busy and will call me if someone cancels their appointment so I can be seen earlier if possible. I don’t mind waiting. So, I am in pain right now and my throat hurts, its difficulty to speak and it’s very itchy. Here’s a picture of my recovery at home. The brown stuff on my shoulder is from the surgery, its to keep me from getting infections. Everyone gets it put on the areas for surgery. My spell check is having trouble so I am unable to type certain words right now. Forgive me if there are a few errors in my post.

My chest hurts but it should feel better in two days. If I don’t get sick I should heal quickly. I am pretty sure I won’t get sick. Everything always works out.

The doctor’s and nurses are awesome. They treated me like gold. I made sure they knew I have autism. Also, I had one of my seizure attacks before the surgery but they did great keeping calm and helping me feel as comfortable as possible. It was hard for them to watch me have the attacks. All the staff came to help me. There’s nothing anyone can do though. I do believe they are caused by stress. Also, it is clear they are seizures but unknown causes. I have been having them since I was nine years old and they got worse at the age of 12 and hasn’t changed much since. I am hoping they go away for awhile after I get my device turned on again. Oh and I didn’t get pumped up with pain medication this time, they only gave me a light medication. I started hurting about 20 minutes after I woke up. It feels like a stabbing pain that gets worse and burns. Every time I move my upper body, it hurts where the cut is. I am going to feel like this for another two days. I am well so that’s good news. Also, I am good at waking up from surgery. I never have problems. It was a quick surgery too, took 45 minutes. The preparation is what takes the longest. Altogether it took 3 hours. I am so very grateful for the hospital care I received. I surprised myself, I did very well speaking. I realized I work hard to be able to talk like I do. I should be proud of myself. Everyone else is. The staff were surprised too. I am a unicorn indeed. Hahaha!

Did you know if you have a rare or unknown health condition, doctors will ask if it’s okay to bring student’s into your appointments? If you don’t agree they can’t allow it. I always agree because I want people to learn about my rare condition so I can help others. Its my duty to teach.

The Depths Of My Heart

Deep within my heart
lives love, there it is cultivated and fed.

But my love is restless,
it is rooted in unstable

My foundation is neglected
by loves lacking embrace,
its touch hurts, brings
pain and scars.

My heart once had a dream
of being held and supported,
by a bond between two souls searching for love.

I was rudely awakened by
pain and heart break.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton


Blue’s stained my mind
with its shady rolls of
ocean waves, tears flood
the shores of my dreams
as emotion’s move deeper
still fooling my vision
of calming tides.

I lost my mind alone the
road to the hole I dug
to bury my pain.

My heart overflows with
fog rain and wind, causing
a storm to beat at the bones
of my ribcage, leaving me

Sadness tripped me
before I could run.

I pull the strings
of my life, I draw
the lines too,
like a master of my
own design I created
the possibilities to

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Burning Memories

Burning memories,
with my heart.

Together we made
a love story.

Each turning page is
a mile in our lives.

The breeze pushes the
waves, pushing me closer
to the edge of my dreams.

I can barely see
the future but it’s
still there in its
frame. A bit blurred
and so far away.

I still remember your
gentle touch, your soft
kisses and hugs.

You are engraved in my
memory like perfumed
roses slowly dieing after
bring picked for viewing

These diluted dreams are
stitched upon my skin,
forever a stain, your memory
is sawn within my life,
and scratched within my book.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton


Boom boom bang*!
My lows are lowering,
my highs go thigh high
lower now. My ankles hurt
from the pressure.

I’ve got the need to sing
the blues, no lyrics, no rain,
just blues and sad clouds darkening.

The rain is falling now,
I’ve got the bucket out.

The mountains are building
higher too, I’ve got to work
My wings so I can fly.

My heart is beating loud,
my arteries are ready to
pop and bleed out.

Emotions rear, silently screaming,
burning from the inside out,
the storm is drowning happiness
but the steam is rising.

Happiness takes a break for now,
I’ll remember you I promised myself.

I left my candle on the window ceil,
where my poetry rests and awaits my

Here I am in a slow burn,
the currents smoke and
rises in ashes,
as my wick flares and sparks
with doom blooming, as clouds
of smoke chokes me,
I am still breathing this
diluted air with little or
no confidence.

But I know I’m stronger,
I’m faster, I’m smarter than

I am a natural born fighter,
my momma taught me well.

Never let the devil win,
I’ve got the cards, I’m
the string’s and I can sing.

Be brave, be proud, be loud,
stay strong and firm, like
a rock on the ocean floor.

I’m stronger now,
stronger than before.

I’m like a mountain, my
peek’s are sharp and rises
above the clouds.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

My Cat Boo Has Heart Disease, I Am Sad πŸ˜­πŸ˜–πŸ˜£πŸ‘ŽπŸ’”πŸ₯Ί

Hello my lovelies, Boo went to the vet today. The doctor and nurse like Boo, she’s a good kitty. She loves being hugged and petted. Sadly, she has heart disease. We probably have at least a year with her. This is hard for me to post. I can’t help crying. I am grateful I have the opportunity to be Boo’s Mom. She’s a perfect cat. Also, she has lived longer than average for heart disease. Probably because I live a stress free life. I keep her happy and entertained. She sleeps with me and naps in my lap, watches TV. The doctor also gave her asthma medication. I give her one pill in the morning. I have to trick her into thinking it’s a treat. It should be easy for me to do. She’ll probably set for it. We’ll see. I am going to try to take pictures of her for memories. I am going to be very sad for awhile after she leaves this world. I hate saying goodbye. I love Boo so much. She’s been my Nanny Pooh since 2009. I am honored to be her Maa. Also, I do believe she chose me because she knew I am perfect for her. She is a gift. My neighbors are aware of the situation. I just told my family too. Everyone knows how much Boo means to me. She’s in love with everyone. The vet was able to pet her and Boo laid down for the doctor. She even trimmed her nails. Poor Boo doesn’t like scratching posts and I am not able to trim her nails. Really she didn’t have trouble with her nails until a month ago. She did use my chair and couch for scratching. I don’t mind because I don’t care about things, I love her. I have heavy duty furniture. I do have to sacrifice my sented products for Boo’s health. She’s going to be upset about it but she will be okay. She loves baby powder and my body spray. Now I have to use them where she can’t get to them maybe go without the perfumes. No more febreze as well. I can use something that doesn’t spray. Like in the bathroom. I found jell sented air fresheners that I can keep in my window. They are not as strong and still smell great. It will be better for both of us. I might have less asthma too.

Please remember to let your loved ones know you love them, everyday and before you leave them. Life is short and you don’t know how long you have. Try to enjoy your life and be a good friend to everyone. Don’t hate or judge. Forgive and move forward. Remember to use the passed for learning not to abuse and hurt. Forgiveness isn’t forgetting. Forgiveness is acceptance and knowing that it’s not your job to control everything. Be kind to each other. What you reflect will reflect back upon you sometimes ten fold. So remember to reflect good so good will reflect back to you. I love you guys so much. You make Gothic Realms possible. Thank you. Boop! I booped your nose, bye. πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ƒπŸ‘©β€πŸ¦ΌπŸ¦‡

Boo My Cat Is Very Sick We Are Taking Her To The Vet Friday

Hello my lovelies, so Boo hasn’t gotten better so I have to take her to the doctor. She is having a good day today but she had a good day two days ago before having problems yesterday. She’s very skinny and has breathing problems. She coughs up foamy mucus and gasps for air. Today she is not having breathing problems but has very little energy. She flirted with Joyce and tried to jump around but stopped to rest and didn’t move again for an hour. She normally would be running around and rubbing on me. She is laying on the floor watching me right now. She’s trying to be normal but it’s hard. Hopefully the vet will help us. I have asthma too, its scary. No one can breathe through sticky mucus. It has to come out. I don’t mind having to give Boo breathing treatments. I have an inhaler too. It should be an easy remedy. Though I don’t know why she has no fat and muscles. She slowly lost weight before she developed the breathing problem. She eats well and drinks plenty of water. She is a noisy eater and drinker, so I know she is doing well. She does have trouble resting when she has breathing trouble. I think that’s why she lost some of the weight. Please keep us in your prayers and thoughts. I am going for surgery soon. I have been fighting another infection too. If I keep drinking water and cutting down the soda’s I will be okay. Doctors are aware of my chronic uti. There’s really nothing we can do about it. I have had the uti since I was a very young child. If it gets bad enough I will need antibiotics but I can’t use them often. Its bad to use antibodies often. Our bodies are able to produce antibodies and if you use antibodies too much you can cause your system to fail.

Be kind to each other. I love you guys. Thank you for visiting my blog. This is a hard time for me. Hopefully everything will get better soon. I am worried about Boo. I love her so much. She was born in 2009 on July 3. I adopted her three weeks after she was born. She has been through seizures and heartaches with me. She’s not just my cat, she’s my friend and companion. She calls me maa. 😊❀️❣️ I never knew cat’s can talk until I got Boo. They can understand things like a two year old human child. Cat’s are very smart.

Spectrum Mind

Wire’s connect to the network,
each line has its own unique
design to create who we are.

But there is one that is
common but rare, it is the
spectrum mind of autism.

We are like a map with extra
road’s and bridges with a gps
connected to a burnt out battery
that keeps sending mixed signals.

Its itchy and twitchy,
its dirty but clean at
the same time.

The air seems textured and
tastes like breakfast, lunch
and dinner was thrown together
on a burnt piece of toast.

More butter please.

To be a Tourette is like,
reality dreams of me instead
of me dreaming of the possibilities.

I have no choice, my brain
is forced into this disfunctional
spectrum of beating arteries
and speeding electrodes of friction.

My sensory is loaded with
sparks, flickering ideas,
and mixed signals of deta
crossed over the way lines
of my existence.

I became my brain, I cultivated
my IQ, hydrated my view until
it became a beautiful vision
of painted road’s and landscaped

This tapestry of expression
grew passed its own ideas,
its like a weed of possibilities.

The more I write I become
a blazing light, my flame
burns into your mind.

I built my rhyme on borrowed
time, but it has become so
much more than wasted time.

It would be a crime if I
abandoned my post, for I
worked hard to build my
house upon the internets
WiFi fiber optics.

I became a poetic line,
a reason for expression
and fought with depression.

Love can’t hurt me anymore,
my DNA is set in cellular
structures of who I am.

Be true and kind, love
unconditionally without
asking for a dime.

I am paid with your views
and positive vibes.

Maybe someday my vision
will be displayed upon a
book, currently in my mind
each page paints my future
of publishing that book.

Maybe someday…

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

To The Trolls & Abusive Bullies

We don’t serve trolls,
go back to your bridge.
Thank you. πŸ‘β€οΈ

The only way to stop abuse
is by avoiding the abuser
and walk away. Its not
your job to be abused.

Be kind and grateful,
for life is short and

Why waste it on hate and

Kindness starts with you,
so does hate and abuse.

To prosper you have to respect
the environment because you are
part of its ecosystem.

Together we are stronger,
for shattered glass never
holds up unless its double
plated. So be kind and friendly
build yourself a strong foundation.

Roam wasn’t built in a day
or by one person. It took
millions of people
and thousands of years
of hard labor.

Humanity will prosper if we
stop the ignorance and abuse.

We humans come in unique packages,
tall, short, medium, lard and small,
red, yellow, blue, white and black.

Your beautiful and amazing,
that’s all you need to know.

Love is the most powerful
tool we will ever use.

Its strong enough to fight
abuse, heal wounds, and
build trust.

It is up to you how you use it.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

The Vampires Curse

The sun devours me,
like a dragon its blaze
burns me.

Blood is life but a
curse, my soul is lost
to its flood.

Ashes are my fate the
end is hot and sweat.

Death forgot about me
long ago, left me drowning
in darkness.

Such things exist in nightmares,
our worst ideas come from the
depths of darkness creating
monster’s from fanged teeth.

We bite and drink from the fable’s
we’ve shared, like vampires lurking
in the shadows of our minds.

To be a monster is to be alive
but dead at the same time.

The grave was dug centuries
before our time.

The shadows have a heartbeat,
anxiety shines, tells you to
run, tells you to hide.

But nothing can stop death,
she’s a beautiful theft with
beautiful eyes. She sees you
in your sleep, she knows when
you are scared, she knows when
it is your time. Her kiss is the
last you will crave, desire wins

The Vampires curse is a fabled
truth, its a monster living behind
your own eyes.

A story, a myth passed on
through the years.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton


Love wants to be free from
its cage in which it is kept.

Within the caged chest, it
fights and struggles.

It beats loudly and proud.

It holds passion and dedication

It devours hate and ignorance,
with knowledge and experience.

Love is a treasure, its
fragile and deviant.

Its shadow is slinky and
sly but not shy.

It’s dictated by our actions,
we bear it’s marks and scars,
like Knights in battle with
double edge swords.

Sadly, We don’t always win the war.

Love hurts sometimes.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Autism & Me – Part Two

Ti’s a dream of mine,
to fly above the mountains and sea.

To be free from the cage
I was born in.

My autistic mind is that like a tree,
it grew into the plot I’ve dug;
my roots are deep and strong.

I have fought infections
and disease.

I have suffered on my hands
and knees.

I sacrificed myself for
illness and family.

What has autism done for me?

It taught me how to be smart.

How to communicate and collaborate.

It taught me the importance of
community and guidance.

It taught me how to love
unconditionally, without
judgement, honestly and

I am a unicorn amounts horses
and ponies.

My brain is textured and viscous,
it pushes me to the edge of reality.
Forces me to face my fears.

Anxiety and depression are my
roommates but never do I invite

To be me, is like being Alice
peeking through the looking glass.

Come have tea with me.

I’m the best hostess because
I always over achieve.

Niceness is like the sweetest candy,
I am such a sweet tart.

I’m honest to a default.

Autism and me.

Β© 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

I Am Getting Ready For Easter Early – New Drawing

Chick & The Easter Egg : If you want to see other works please click on the image. You will be redirected to my DeviantArt profile.

I am adding new items to my DeviantArt profile. Bat Brats has new designs as well. I am peppering for Easter a bit early. I am going to start preparing for holidays a month in advance. I hope it helps to get costumers. I am working hard. You may follow me on Twitter as well @BatBratsDesigns. All of my posts are automatically shared to my Twitter πŸ¦‡ and anything else I chose to share.

Peace and love everyone. Boop! I booped your nose, bye. πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ƒπŸ‘©β€πŸ¦ΌπŸ¦‡

I Made A Happy Easter Banner – New Items Are Available At Bat Brats

Happy Easter Banner
Happy Easter Banner: you can visit my DeviantArt profile by clicking on the image.

This is my banner. If you find it anywhere else please let me know. I might put it on Bat Brats. I have also made new items for the store, they are available now.

Disney Is Not A Good Company Nor Morally Correct – I Also Share About My Mental Health Condition DID

So I grew up with the Disney channel. I didn’t really like TV that much but other children did. I watched Disney movies and a few shows but never fell in love with it. I don’t relate to fantasy characters like I do reality. I never saw them as roll models. Disney is and always will be for entertainment purposes. Though other people took it more serious. Even today, people are judging cartoons as if they are human beings. Like Pepe Le Pew, he’s not a human being at all. The character is based off of wild animals not humans. It doesn’t make sense to judge a cartoon character as being anything but entertaining. You can’t fall off a mountain and bounce like a cartoon character. Also, skunks behaviour is very similar to Pepe Le Pew. The female cat acts like a cat. Pepe Le Pew doesn’t care if she’s a skunk because his instincts are strong. The cat is, well a cat. She flirts with everything like cat’s do. It’s not human behaviour at all. Why would you think a cartoon is morally responsible for your choices anyways? You should think about your own mental health if you believe cartoons are based off reality. I know from experience. I might not believe cartoons are real but I use to live in a fantasy world I created for myself. I still can bring back the illusions I created. I was born to be able to cope with reality. I didn’t want to deal with the abusive environment I was forced into. I separated myself from it. I have five alters, I know them all but one who isn’t human. She doesn’t communicate so she is silent. It was the second alter that I created. All I know about her is she’s female and shadow like. She came about after I was abused by my ex stepfather Markus. I was being physically and mentally abused and I ran away to my closet. There is were I broke off from reality and she took over. I call her the shadow queen, because she doesn’t have a name. I have tried to talk to her so did my councillors. It didn’t work out. She just is there silent and scared. All of my alerters are different, they came about after traumatic events in my life. I was young when I was abused. DID happens at a young age when a person is developing their personality and social skills. Abuse causes stress and it can hurt a person’s self. Our brains cope with stress by producing chemicals and over time it causes habits. The process becomes imbalanced. That causes the environment that creates split ideas. The mind ends up creating a safer environment making room for alters to design the environment. Like a bandaid. The alters are there to cope with the environment because I couldn’t. I needed assistance. My brain assisted me by creating different lives within my body so I can take a break. What’s amazing about DiD is that the alters are completely different people. They can be whatever they choose. The sufferer can learn to communicate with their alters. I went through special treatment to learn. Also, I am aware that I am still responsible for their actions. They are part of me. They are me but different versions of reality. Imagine if multiple dimensions existed and you could visit them. Your life would be unique in each dimension. DID is similar, but it’s real. I don’t need a second dimension to be another version of myself. I worked very hard to control my brain. I haven’t had a break since 2016. After quitting the medication for the mental illness,it got easier to deal with. I am very smart and capable of understanding my environment. I know to talk about my problems and meditate so I don’t need to break my reality. I learned to accept the situation. I will always have DID, there’s no cure. I understand that as well as what causes it. That’s what makes it hard to control. The cause of the break, if you can’t figure out how to stop the cause then it’s going to happen. To change your personal self is the hardest thing to do. We all are born with set traits and characteristics. Our behaviours dictate the environment that creates ideas. I am more aware of this than the average person. It has helped me to be stable. I trust people to be honest and open so I can ask them if they are experiencing the same as I am. If they say no then more likely I am experiencing an illusion which is an hallucination. My trust had to be built, my mom was the first to build it.

I don’t know if I explained myself very well. I am not very good at posting longer posts. My grammar sucks. I quack like a duck instead of having good grammar. I do my best. Sometimes I will edit the post but only once. Plus I can learn from my mistakes so I keep them. I have worked hard to get where I am currently. I am always growing. I appreciate you for visiting my work. I hope you learned something. Please don’t judge cartoons and comics or anything from TV and movies. They are not reality. All TV and movies are for entertainment purposes only. It’s unreasonable to judge it as if it’s possible. Reality is so much more dramatic than that. Hahaha! We humans are good at being dramatic that’s why we create drama and find it entertaining. Boop! I booped your nose, bye. πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ƒπŸ‘©β€πŸ¦ΌπŸ¦‡πŸ€­

I Knead You – A Purrfect Poem

Yawn! stretch and paw.

Oh, how I knead you,
purring to heal you.

My pink nose and whiskers
tickling your toes,
I knead you like dough
paw and purs I know.

I love you so.

I’m always the
cutest trend.

The internet loses
its sanity, sharing
my face as I wink
and shake.

Like a chubby loaf of bread,
I’m perched on your head
on your keyboard and bed.

You have no privacy,
for I am always kneading
you cuddling and puring.

I’m running ahead,
chasing shadows and
a piece of thread.

I know when you are
sad and sick, I pat
you and do cute tricks.

I share food and love
as though we are equal.

My love is unconditional.

Sometimes I seek attention
I tease by breaking things.

Meow, at the screen,
cat’s rule this scene.

I knead you, meow!
purrty please adopt, me.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Don’t shop, adopt. I adopted my cat Boo and she’s my purrfect match.

Hello Google – Short Horror Story

Upon a voice command Google wakens from it’s electric slumber at 8:00 pm.

You: Hello Google!
Google: Hello my friend, how may I help you?
You: What time is it?
Google: 8:00 pm.

An hour passes…

You: Hello Google!
Google: Hello my friend, how may I help you?
You: What time is it?
Google: 9:00 pm.

An hour passes…

You are watching TV when you hear Google.
Google: Hello friend, how may I help you?
You: Hey Google, I didn’t ask for assistance.
Google: Yes you did.
You: What did I say?
Google: Hello Google!

An hour passes…

You are busy playing a video game because you can’t sleep, when Google chimes in again.
Google: Hello friend, how may I help you?
You: Google, why are you asking?
Google: You asked me for assistance.
You: No I didn’t. Google, turn off.
Google: Goes silent.

An hour passes…

You are asleep in bed, when you are startled.
Google: Hello my friend, how may I help you? It sounds like it’s up close to your ear.

A creepy laugh can be heard over Googles speaker. You go to unplug the device but you find it’s already unplugged. You forgot to plug it in two nights ago.

😳 Boo! Google got you.

Bush Beater – You’ve Been Spotted

When I say I love you,
you don’t return my call.

When I say I need you,
you have an excuse not
to be here.

When I say I am sick,
you never come over to
show me love.

When I ask for attention,
you say your busy, this
happens everytime.

You never pay attention to me,
even when you are next to me.

You don’t remember important things,
unless it pleases you.

You never say sorry for your actions,
instead you blame me and say sorry for
the situation.

A sorry should be simple,
not blameful and corrupted
by neglectful behavior.

I love you, should be held
tightly and in importance
at all times.

Not whenever you think it’s
important, because it’s not just
about you. You need two to have a

My things should not matter
to you, my heart and mind should.

I’ve been neglected, pushed a side,
you’ve mooched off me without

Your an addict and user of people,
I told you I don’t have junk food
yet you still go searching through
my refrigerator.

I never barrow nor take from others,
you are a mooch, without remorse
you lost my things and never took

You wanted to exchange my stuff for yours
after you changed your mind you never
wanted those things you wasted money on.

I don’t feel appreciated nor loved
by someone who treats me like that.

I feel used and unwanted instead.

I don’t believe you after you
said one thing but your actions
don’t follow the path you claim
to have built.

I loss my heart everytime
I tried to be your friend.

You are never supportive
nor communicate with me.

My massages are ignored
the only response I received
is k, or you don’t seem to
care about what I say.

You never give a yes or no,
its always a maybe but you
never show.

You beat around the bushes,
instead of being honest.

I wouldn’t get hurt if you
were honest.

I would rather have a bandaid
taken off quickly, I can handle
it but not if you don’t let me.

You should not be trusted
if you are wishy-washy
and never have a straight
forward answer.

I don’t believe a word you say.
Not after everything we’ve been through.

You are still the same.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton


I sacrificed my life
for peace and stable mind.

I kneel every night,
bow my head and take
my plight placing it
before the Lord’s feet.

It’s no longer mine,
I lift myself up to
the Lord’s divine plan;
I promised him I will
follow the roads he
built for me.

I’ve met my shadow
many times, within
my meditation we take

A quiet place to reflect,
a mountain of possibilities
I climb and move by building
a strong foundation.

I am a tool, an influence
upon the environment.

I discovered myself years ago,
I once was lost; chained by
illness and grief, but faith
broke the chains and released
my soul.

I no longer grieve
I accept my condition,
by doing so I have already
won the fight.

I use to argue with myself,
I fought self-esteem,
I hated my differences
and being unique.

I had to face my shadow
before the walk, for the
deeper parts of who I am
was lost.

Depression and anxiety
ruled my life, until
I took control
I became its friend.

I am my own advocate,
for I am a unique soul,
one in five million I
stand tall.

Be proud to be you,
we all are beautiful
and rare.

I am a unicorn, autistic
and fair.

I love you and
everyone too.

I understand without you
I wouldn’t be here.

Life is never about me,
its about everything else
around me.

We are the designers of
life, we move mountains
and oceans.

We are the title waves
upon the great tragity
of life.

Live well, be bold
and brave, for life
is too short to always
be afraid.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

I Am Going To Get The Covid-19 Vaccine Tomorrow

Hello my lovelies, so I got a letter from in home services yesterday. They said I am at risk to get covid-19 so I need to get the vaccine. I waited until everything was good so I am going to get the vaccine tomorrow morning. I will have a reaction to the vaccine but it’s not going to hurt me. I always feel sick for a week after vaccine shots. Some people do. It’s how my immune system responds so it shows that my body is doing it’s job. I am ready.

I love you guys. Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you are well. Boop! I booped your nose, bye. πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ƒπŸ‘©β€πŸ¦ΌπŸ¦‡

The Gift & Curse Of The Savant

To be gifted
or not to be gifted,
that is the struggle
of the savant.

Savant syndrome comes with
unwanted side effects, like
neurological problems causing learning difficulties, and movement dysfunction.

I am above average
intelligence yet I am
too dysfunctional to use
it productively.

The brain damage took
my functional life and
gave me a broken idea.

I grew into an IQ of 200,
a twitcher and painful
struggler of pins and

I am a pin cushion,
a program screen,
a fireworks designer
of deta in the back of
my mind.

Constant frameworks
flashing, and zinging
wires zapping my nerves.

I’m a textured mess
of crossed sensory

My brain outputs images
and sounds like a broken
recorder with battery backup

I remember all the details
but I can’t write it down.

The ability to communicate
is blocked by the constant
anxiety and a weighted
down self esteem.

It’s a battle of brain
and bruised tissue.

I will never give up;
for you can hear me now,
through my poetry.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

I Am Trying To Take Control Of My Hair – I Am Tired Of The Bun & Sticky Hair I Keep It Clean But It Is Unmanageable

Hello my lovelies, I have been wanting to change my hair style for awhile now. I’ve been dealing with my sticky wiry hair long enough. I don’t know if it will work. All I can do is use gentle products and don’t blow dry my hair. I am using leave in conditioner and air dry cream. I haven’t tried leave in conditioner before. I was afraid it would make my hair more sticky. I keep losing a lot of hair too. I have thin spots in the front and middle of my head. I cover them up with a bun hairstyle. But my hair pops out after an hour. I have to do my hair at least five times a day. I can’t use hairspray nor jell. Those products don’t work and they are hard to wash out of my hair. Oh and I tried getting a perm when I was younger, that was bad. It didn’t curl my hair, it matted up and the hair dresser felt bad so she took it out for free and tried styling it. It looked great for an hour. It wasn’t their fault. My hair is weird. Also, I got it died for my birthday two years ago and it grows so fast it lasted only four months. All my reddish brown and golden hair is back. Its weird, my hair has red hue on top fading to gold and into almost blonde. Its very shiny, people take notice if I have it down. There’s hair’s that look like they’ve been in a fight, all screwed up too. I use to pull some of them out but more came back. My eyebrows do the same thing. I pull my eyebrows and keep them from being bushy. I’ve been doing that since I was eleven years ago. I have a soft unibrow. 🀭 Hopefully I can find peace with my hair. The frizz is really bad. Also, my hair sticks to the hairbands. It doesn’t matter how much I brush it, it still has tangles that get worse as I brush it. I’ve learned to let it dry a bit before putting it up. Sometimes I get it right other times I fail. I remember when I was younger and mom would do my hair but it would be a mess before lunch. She was the only one who could make it stay longer. She never put hair products in it, she knew very well that’s bad. It causes my hair to fall out too. I am thinking about asking Lisa if she can take me to get it cut and breaded. Hairstyle has better tools. The salon products keep it soft longer. I wish there was a spray that could soften my hair. Maybe the leave in conditioner will help.

I hope you are well. I love you guys. Thank you for visiting. God bless you. Boop! I booped your nose, bye. πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ƒπŸ‘©β€πŸ¦ΌπŸ¦‡

Boo Got A New Harness – Lisa Got Her A Lovely Harness – My Dystonia Is Getting Worse But Soon Everything Will Improve

Hello my lovelies, so most of you are aware that my cat has been learning how to take walks on a leash. Today Lisa came by and gave us a harness for Boo. Boo has gotten old, she’s a skinny kitty. She has been doing better though. She hasn’t had a seizure or breathing problems for a few weeks now. I changed a few things. I think it’s helping her. She has been setting with me in the shower so the steam can help us with asthma. Also, I no longer burn candles longer than an hour a day. It causes both of us asthma problems if I burn candles all day. I make sure to have the door open too while the candles are burning. I have a screen door for protection. I don’t give her treats after she has an attack for two days either. She seems to be improving. The only thing I can’t seem to change is her weight, she is very skinny. I keep her active and I encourage her to set in the window to get vitamin D. She’s been eating good. She doesn’t like having the front door open either. She’ll retreat into the bedroom. I do believe she’s aware that I am not well. My Dystonia is slowly getting worse. She’s become very attentive to me past few days now. She won’t leave me alone anymore. My ability to move has gotten harder and more painful. My body wants to contort in weird positions, I am always working on controlling it. I’ve been having trouble sleeping because I can’t sit still, my back hurts and my legs try to cramp. I can tell I might get another UTI soon as well. I cut down on soda and I started drinking a lot of water and black tea with honey. It’s not going to stop my body from getting sick but it will help me feel comfortable until I get my device fixed. I should get better fast after the surgery. I won’t have to worry so much about infections and bad reactions. I am still having trouble with my ovary though. Lisa is working on getting me a specialist. I need to get it looked at. I don’t know if I need surgery to remove it. I can tell I still have the cyst though. On my period it hurts like someone punched me in the left side of my gut. Makes my back hurt worse than the Dystonia does. My feet are swollen in the morning too. If I don’t elevate my legs my feet burn and swell. I still love cooking though. I make easy meals, fish and veggies. I also made chicken. I started eating fruit snacks with added vitamins too. They make me feel good. has been a blessing. They are a great service. I’ve been ordering food from them. If I can’t find a food item at the store I can go to They have a special program for people who have government assistance, you can use your EBT card to get food also you get prime for $5.08 every month. That’s half the original price of $12 a month. Their costumer service is great too. They gave me $10 Amazon certificate for inconveniencing my experience. I can use it on any items from They do have very good products. I don’t trust all of the brands that use the platform so I think it’s better to use Amazon’s brand. I made a mistake with my last order and needed help, the lady was so kind and patient, I felt like she really cared about me. I wish I could give her something in return. If anyone who works for reads this, thank you for your time I appreciate you guys so much. You make me feel blessed. Peace and love to I can’t praise them enough. They’ve been a big help to me.

Here’s the Boo in her harness. She’s the fury Egyptian princess.

It’s not the best quality. Hopefully I will be able to take a better picture next time. Boo is very happy with the harness. She rubbed on me and lifted her legs to help me put it on her. It’s a perfect fit. She has long fur so it overflows from the harness a bit. I made sure three of my fingers can fit inside the harness with it on her.

To everyone who uses reviews to judge a business. Please don’t believe people who attack others. Businesses like work hard like everyone else does. You should never abuse. Plus it’s not their fault your unhappy. The only reason we are unhappy is because we expected happiness. That’s why it’s best not to be biased in the beginning. Don’t use someone else’s experience to judge something, go try it for yourself. You might have a different experience than everyone else. It can be fun trying new things too. Sometimes the mistakes can be amazing, you might get lost and find a secret garden. You don’t know until you try. Also, mistakes are meant to teach you. It’s not bad to make mistakes. What makes it bad is how you use it. Be kind to yourself and to others. We will prosper in love and kindness, for love is acceptance and it leads to success. To succeed you have to put everything into your goal and accept the terms.

I hope you are well. I love you guys so much. God bless you. Boop! I booped your nose, bye. πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ƒπŸ‘©β€πŸ¦ΌπŸ¦‡β€οΈ


I ponder, what it is like
to be my shadow.

To be shadow,
Its lonely, avoid of color,
no cold, no heat, dark, and

Even though I am always
beside you, I am ignored
by most.

The dark devours me,
the light gave birth to me.

I am your companion,
never invited but welcomed.

I have written many a poem,
alongside your lamps and
daytime wonderings,
I am your inspiration.

A muse.

We are one, never departed
but separated by darkness,
and the light brings us together.

Every step you make, I follow.
Every move you make, I follow.
Without your breath I can not
breathe for you are my breath.

I am Shadow.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

Pain Sucks, I Went Six Days Without Pain Pills Because Of Medicals Incompetence

Hello my lovelies. So, I went without my pain pills for six days. I finally got the refill yesterday. I wouldn’t be in so much pain if my implant was working. Having Dystonia and Neuropathy is three types the average pain. Its worse then burning my fingers on the stove. Imagine your body being roasted over open fire, you can’t move. It feels like you are being torn apart from the inside out too. On top of that my muscles are cramping and twitching. Slowly I am getting worse. If I don’t get my device working the Dystonia will end up taking everything from me again. That’s why my doctor is working hard to get me the surgery as soon as possible. I am going to call her today and ask about the process. Please pray for me and keep me in your thoughts. Love you guys. Boop! I booped your nose, bye. πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ƒπŸ‘©β€πŸ¦ΌπŸ¦‡

The Vampires Shadow

Like a rose slowly life
bloomed only to be withered
by the light of the moon.

Heart beats quickly as
feet run through the street,
the shadow follows not
too far behind.

Thirsting for the red flood
that flow’s in the victims veins,
internal darkness yearns
for the heat, before its teeth
leaps forth from the depths
of the foggy night the
monster laugh’s.

Its icy grip reaches forth,
as the victim slips into the
fog, there they are greeted
by the vampire. Its kisses
are cold and hard, it stings

Its skin like bleached bone,
hard as stone, white as marble
just as smooth.

There the victim is laid down,
upon the dawn they will
be found.

Beware of the monster that
lurks in the depths of the
night, its cold embrace awaits
any who stray from the lights
of the street.

The last thing you will hear
is the Vampires laugh.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

The Poem That Started It All – Mother Nature

Mother nature opened her
hands to reveal the moon.

All while she bowed to the
heaven’s and opened her eyes
to reveal the stars as she
released her skirt the sun
began to rise.

©️ 2021 By Amanda D Shelton

I wrote this when I was seven years old. My mom wrote it down for me as I told her what to write. I have rewritten this poem many times but I still remember the original. I was in love with everything at that time. Even though mom was dealing with her addictions. I was dealing with health problems. Poetry and reading kept me busy. I got bored with TV so I would go outside to ponder on life. I would watch the grass grow and play with the animals. I was an odd kid too. I never found intrest in playing with the other kids, I wanted to be a grown up so I made friends with the elders in my neighborhood. They would say I am like a thirty year old kid. I always had something to share and questions to ask them. I loved listening to older people’s stories of their lives. I always wanted to be like them. I felt like an old soul. I still do. I am in love with life. God blessed me with gifts of knowledge and understanding. I was wise beyond my years. I guess that’s what drove my passion for writing. It’s about God.

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