Caffeine

Rolling rolling rolling,
my thoughts are pondering.

The processing is thunderous,
static and loud as the caffeine
migrates through my body.

Calming down slowly, slowly, slowly,
grinding down to sleep as
the caffeine migrates through
my body.

Caffeine! It grinds my gears
for a moment and slowly calms
me down so I can sleep.

Gives me purpose to move around
to build things, and think faster
than usual.

It can help me sleep at night,
as long as I use it right.

I make time for grinding down,
before I go to bed sometimes
caffeine is the pillow on my bed
and a monk when I meditate.

Caffeine can be my friend.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

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No Chance

One breath, one minute, one smile,
led to many moments of heartache.

Breathe they say,
yet lifes choking me.

Wait they say,
yet lifes running and
I have only one chance to chach up.

Be happy they say,
yet depression doesn’t ask
for an invitation.

I was told whatever I do
will come back to me ten fold.

Yet it seems what everyone else does
is folding in on me because I breathed,
I waited, and I smiled.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

Broken Ideas

While sticks and stones
may break my bones,
words will never hurt me.

Okay, I will take your
sticks and stones
and give you the
crushed bones.

My words are all I’ve got,
so I will write you this poem
and bury the bones in poetry.

There’s no skeletons in my closet,
I used the sticks and stones to
build a home and left the war
awhile ago.

Words are like swords, they
cut like knifes and deeper
with each line, they leave
invisible wounds so no one
is aware of your suffering
until you reveal the scars.

The bully lied every time,
the teacher told you to get in line,
your self esteem told you
your not worth the time.

Now tell me how words will
never hurt me, when
I am crying while writing.

Memories of past regrets roll
upon the surface of my life,
in the most unexpected time.

Words are all I’ve got and memories
of accusations from loves broken ideas
and words of affection that turned into
scars from a narcissists infection.

Love brought me words sharpened
like knifes, it still hurts me and
its been a long time.

Scar’s hurt all the time.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

Great Design

We are written in the stars,
heaven sees all of me.

A witness to time, I am
part of this great design.

Passions collide with desire
and we fly.

Our hearts are on fire,
as the flames rise higher
as we grow and develop
the sky witnesses our lives.

Expansion is inevitable every
molecular structure is designed
to withstand the pressure of
lives vibrations and collisions.

Like roots we reach out to space,
our voices are loud and travel at the
speed of light.

Zooming by planets and moons,
heading to the stars and far
away galaxies.

Existence is layered with experiences.

Lives main goal is change.

We all came from the heavens
a massive explosion of exchange,
from chemicals mixing and gasses
dancing after a big bang.

The voice of God is thunderous
and explosive. The threads of life
grew upon God’s tongue and we
knew him as creator.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

Doritos

You once lingered on my lips
sultry and delicious.

Like Doritos and cheese dip,
you and I fit.

Slowly you got spicy,
burned my heart and
left me falling apart.

You tried to stuff me into your
bag of suffering, as you hoarded
your demons and made friends
with my pain bringing me your shame.

You used your crimes to accuse me
of causing you discomfort, while you
stood outside my door laughing.

The smell of Doritos is a reminder
of your insufferable presence, that
lingered for seven long years.

You were never my friend,
the Doritos cared more it fed me
while you starved my heart of love
and you stole my security.

Like Doritos and cheese dip,
you and I once fit.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

Afterlife

Your memory is all that is left.

You are like smoke,
you linger after the flames die.

In my minds window you sit,
as we are divided by the pain
between life and death.

One day we will be one again,
our energy will spread and be united
within the galaxy, like stars that collide.

We all become dusty afterthoughts
afterlife.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

Lady Winter

Her hair is white,
shoulders wide,
eyes blue skin cold has ice.

She wears winter gowns
made from frozen flowers
and rows of pine needles as a robe.

She wanders the earth
with her chilling kiss,
her cold embrace is a reminder
of the seasonal change.

She’s friends with autumn
and visits the sea, the Arctic is
her favorite place to rest.

As she blows on the breeze,
like a frozen leaf.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

Ginger Beans Passed Away From Unknown Illness – And I Adopted A New Kitty Named Storm

Hello my lovelies, so I haven’t posted updates about my life in a long while. I’ve been dealing with health issues and my cat Ginger Beans got sick two weeks ago on Thursday and he had to go to the emergency veterinary hospital. I spent $2,000 trying to save him but he was suffering from fluid on his lungs from unknown infection. I said goodbye to Bean on Thursday afternoon, they will scatter his ashes out at Sea. The hospital staff took great care of him and I had to let him go. He was in pain and dying. I am sad but Storm is going to keep me busy so I don’t get depressed. He’s very cuddly and relaxed and he’s very sweet and comfortable with me. He loves the food I have and I am going to buy him a new scratching table for him to have treats on and an elevated feeding station. He’s a beautiful gray male cat 4 years and 2 months old, 11 pounds and 12 ounces. Please give a big welcome to the Storm nickname Stormy Boom Boom Boy. Also, he has a sister named Lightning she is all black. I would have adopted both of them but I can’t but it’s okay. Storm is a good house cat he’s good being the only cat or he can be with others. He’s a cuddle buddy and very attached to me. I adopted him from PetSmart they adopt animals from the SPCA and pound. I even got medical records for him he’s been checked for any health issues and birth defects. He’s a healthy cat. He’s perfect for me. He’s already fully adjusted to me and the apartment. It’s like he’s been here his whole life. He’s like a dark cloud of love. I am going to try to crochet a pair of bat wings for him. It will be like a colour for his neck so it won’t be uncomfortable. He’s an indoor kitty only so no outside for this Storm. He’s a lap kitty. My Dad and stepmom got Storm for me. We went to PetSmart today and it was fun, they have several cats ready for adoption. I saw Storm and he winked at me and I felt like he would be a great cuddly boy. I ended up reading his story and they said he’s a lap kitty and very calm. He loves cuddling. I thought his name is perfect for him too so I kept it.

I am going to be getting a new electric wheelchair soon too. I am waiting for the company to call me to make an appointment for someone to come out and look at my apartment and my needs. They will customize my new electric wheelchair after that. Also, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and I have my second sleep test on the 9th to get my breathing machine. I will be feeling better after I start using my breathing medicine. I need sleep. I don’t get enough sleep because I wake up too often choking and coughing. I also have sneezing fits that wake me up and I sleepwalk a lot.

Poetic Endeavors

I used to think love
was searching for me,
I was under its tow,
and love was always
behind me.

My heart was full of
joy and magical ideas
for the future.

So naive I was,
a child dancing
on a dime of
wasted time.

Digging deeper
into my imagination
of the possibilities.
I am a dreamer of
all possibilities.

A people pleaser and
creative deep thinker,
my heart is a large chest
filled with chaotic seas,
it has endless room for love
and it’s own lock and key.

But my thoughts always
got in the way, they like to pile
on top of themselves gathering
in the forest of ideas that exist
in my mind.

Like trees poetry grows
in my head, rooted in
reality and fantasy.

I like to dress up my words
with unique Gothic designs
and beautiful flowing colors and
poetic robes full of glitter and glam,
with buckets of tears and sorrow
ready for my next tapestry.

I was born a people pleaser
and a creative deep thinker
overflowing with ideas and
I have tones of poetic endeavors.

Moon Man Smile

Upon this lonely night,
I ponder on the stars,
as they gaze upon the earth
from their heavenly bow.

My heart is somewhat else,
my mind is lingering there too.

The night is like a curtain of darkness,
it slowly fell upon the day as the sun
bowed for its heavenly host and left
the stage and the moon came beaming
bright like a spotlight to smile upon
the night.

Smile wide moon man, smile bright
its your time to shine tonight.

Superpowers

I have superpowers,
I can disappear and be silent
like a ghost.

I am a hollow heart, it slowly filled
with sorrow, it was dug out by love
that hurt me and left me behind
as it ran away from me into the dark.

As love devoured me I struggled,
it’s chains were tight and rotted
from my tears I cried its rust grew
and decayed.

My pillow is soaked in my blood,
my tears drowned me, the mud
came to take me down deeper
than I ever imagined.

I have superpowers,
I can disappear and be silent
like a ghost.

Shshsh! Says the past, as I walk through
the ruins of my heart on dried tears
that fell for seven years.

I have superpowers,
I can disappear and be silent
like a ghost.

I am like smoke.

Caffeine

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