Depression Is…

The ghost of depression
will always haunt me,
it follows me today
until the end of yesterday.

It reminds me of my fault’s,
it calls without living it’s name,
it scares deeply,
saying sorry but still recalling.

It’s deep, dark, thick,
and suffocating.

Depression is a black hole
waiting on the outskirts
of the universe,
to consume happiness.

Depression never lets go,
it chockes you,
it burns your dreams,
it suffocates you with its
pitch black mood.

In the end its up to you
to keep fighting.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

Advertisements

The Perfect Anxiety Attack 

Breathe you say,
slowly you say,
calm you say.

Instead the drumming begins,
a rush of fear consumes me,
each ear opens wide to hear
the rushing blood pressure
pumping through my senses.

Heart beats turn into heartache,
drumlins turn into orchestras,
pumping blood turns into rivers
of pressure pulsating
through my body.

Fear over taking
each move I make.
Anxiety came down like
a house of matches,
burning foundation’s
of functional wall’s,
once stood tall and strong
now crumbles to nothing.

How perfect is that,
an anxiety attack.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

I once suffered from severe anxiety. I have learned how to deal with situations that can cause me to have anxiety attacks. I am glad I did. I am free from Anxiety Attacks, for four years now.

 

Time And Struggles (Hello, Alice Is Away May I Take Your Message?)

Struggling is servival,
to be tied down
is to struggle to move.

I know the feeling very well,
I can’t move like you,
I don’t think like you,
I don’t grow up right like you,
I don’t give up so quickly
like you do,
I fight.

I grow through the wall’s,
I jump highper in my mind,
I run through time,
in my imagination there is no restrictions of time,
there is no mountain
that won’t move for me.

Time is a ticking ruler
measuring my decay,
it’s a testimony to aging,
a face with awkward hand’s,
one smaller than the other,
going in circles,
one tick at a time I go crazy.

Hello Alice, how are you today?
Oh I am decaying at a slow rate,
soon all that will be left of me
are a pile of bones.

You can blow me away,
like a wish you can only
use me once.

Beep! please leave your message after the beep and I will do my best to get back to you.

Oops I forgot to save the beep for last.
Alice didn’t last…

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

“Crazy running through the streets, striping mind’s from media lies. I come through the static as white light runs your lives. Crazy is as crazy does.”

I was bored so I decided to write this. It’s just for fun.

Bruised Heart Lost Its Flow

My heart is sore,
it’s hard for me to breathe
at times.

You seem not to care
sometimes,
I don’t understand your need
for more,
or your need to push
and bully.

Life never slows down for you,
life never speeds up for you,
you have to go in the direction life chose for you.

Once you stop fighting it’s flow,
life will seem easier,
and more precious then ever before.

Life trys to teach you patience,
it trys teaching you how to grow,
but it is up to you where you go.

I am always behind you,
never do you put my needs
to the front of the line.

You act as if you think life should stop for you, as if you don’t have time.

You have more than you know my friend, you have more than most do.

You don’t even have to work for a dime,
or wait for others to take care of you.

You don’t seem to notice
all the time I have given to us.

You seem to notice everything
you think you lack,
instead of remembering
all our good times
we’ve had.

I wish I could open your eyes
show you everything you have.

I think it wouldn’t matter to you though
because you hardly see past
your nose.

Half of the time,
I don’t know if I can trust you,
I don’t know if I should.

Should I be questioning myself
or should I let you go?

It’s hard sometimes.

My heart is sore,
and my mind is tired.

I think you don’t care,
you only see yourself in such times like these.

All I can do is pray for you,
while I am on my knees
crying for you.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

“I pray for my heart that he will come back to me. I pray he stops judging me. I pray he finds peace.”  

Life’s Destination

All this that is left of me,
is debris of what happened to me.
I chose to pick up the pieces,
glue together what I can.

Life, life is not all suffering through.
Life is beautiful,
it can mold and shape you.

It can carry you beyond
your wildest dreams,
it can cause you to
move and grow.

Life is beautiful,
it becomes what you define it,
it pushes you to your limits.

It can strengthen or break you.

It all depends on your mind
and definition.
It depends on your reaction
and direction.

Life can divide you in two,
or keep you together
like grapes on the vine.

It’s all up to you.

How will you define your life?
Will you allow it to make you
or break you?

I decided year’s ago,
I will be who I choose to be.
No one else but myself
can make me who I am meant to be.

I am, my own destination.

© 2017 Amanda Shelton | @WeatheredPoetry on Tumblr.

Mom I Will Always Miss You

She left me on a tear drop,
I can still remember her voice,
as if she spoke to me
through her tears.

She took with her my fears,
my love flew by her side,
my heart stayed behind.

I will always remember her smile,
her hair, and her eyes,
blue like the ocean tides.

I will always remember
how she held me while I cried,
she wiped my tears,
helped me fight my fears.

Aw my mother,
she flew to heaven
with the angels who stole her
from the Earth.

While my heart quaked,
and my life shook from it’s foundation,
I lost her in one moment.

Not a breath was wasted,
not a tear forgotten,
each one turned into a memory.

Never will she fade
for she lives on in my DNA.

She’s my mother,
mom, best friend, confidant,
and queen of all I hold dear,
she is and always will be
my mother.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

Love Can Be Hard 

I am not heartless,
life just taught me
to use my heart less.

I don’t always allow my heart
to make choices for me.

Life is saddened by love,
because when those
you care about die,
it hurts more than
if they were a stranger.

That’s why I always say,
love is not a happy journey
where the sun always shines.

It can be a barren landscape
wasting away with fattened pigs,
and chickens who lost their feathers.

Love can burn like the hot sun
in the Mojave Desert.

It can drink your blood
until you’re ready to pop.
Leaving you to die
from a broken heart.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

“I thought I should share this poem before I lose my inspiration to write it down. I have been through a lot this year. It is but a poem and I know some will be able to relate to it. I am not always an emotional person so to allow my feelings to make my choices isn’t a normal reaction I have. It would have to be a very deep emotion for that to happen, love is one.”

Structure Of Broken Love

It’s sad to be judged
by the love of your life.

You wouldn’t think
that someone you love
could do anything like that.

Because love isn’t mean,
love isn’t boastful,
love isn’t a lie,
love isn’t a beautiful day,
love isn’t a fairy tale,
love isn’t a glass slipper.

Love is complicated,
love is hard,
love is painful,
love is gooy, oozing all the time,
love is scratchy,
love is wakey,
love is full of it,
love is pushy,
love is never changing.

It is the person who uses it,
who makes it,
forms it,
sculpt it into
a piece of art,
sometimes they use
the wrong glue
so it falls apart.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

Expressing My Write

Every poem that I write
is a testimony of what I fight.

illness,
life,
struggle,
and strife
these are the things I fight.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton