Depression Is…

The ghost of depression
will always haunt me,
it follows me today
until the end of yesterday.

It reminds me of my fault’s,
it calls without living it’s name,
it scares deeply,
saying sorry but still recalling.

It’s deep, dark, thick,
and suffocating.

Depression is a black hole
waiting on the outskirts
of the universe,
to consume happiness.

Depression never lets go,
it chockes you,
it burns your dreams,
it suffocates you with its
pitch black mood.

In the end its up to you
to keep fighting.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

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The Perfect Anxiety Attack 

Breathe you say,
slowly you say,
calm you say.

Instead the drumming begins,
a rush of fear consumes me,
each ear opens wide to hear
the rushing blood pressure
pumping through my senses.

Heart beats turn into heartache,
drumlins turn into orchestras,
pumping blood turns into rivers
of pressure pulsating
through my body.

Fear over taking
each move I make.
Anxiety came down like
a house of matches,
burning foundation’s
of functional wall’s,
once stood tall and strong
now crumbles to nothing.

How perfect is that,
an anxiety attack.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

I once suffered from severe anxiety. I have learned how to deal with situations that can cause me to have anxiety attacks. I am glad I did. I am free from Anxiety Attacks, for four years now.

 

Expressing My Write

Every poem that I write
is a testimony of what I fight.

illness,
life,
struggle,
and strife
these are the things I fight.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

Fighting Insanity

One moment you are standing
in the mist,
the next you are setting
in a padded room.

You can hear scratching
from old memories
running through your mind,
reminding you of old times.

You start to fade,
black and white,
the static comes through,
now voices are calling you,
but from where?

You find yourself having tea
with your shadow,
it reminds you,
you forgot your shoes.

Looking down you see
your bare feet
and then the floor begins to move,
as your feet grow farther away,
anxiety set’s in.

Heart beating fast,
faster still,
you feel like running
but you can’t move.

You’re stiff as a tree,
you look down again
and you find your are a tree.

You go from a rooted bed
to a rooted pot,
so tight you feel like
you are chocking
on dirt felled air.

All this time you’ve been asleep,
dreaming you are
fighting with insanity.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

I use to hear voices and have this same exact exceptance when I was younger. One difference though I wasn’t dreaming or asleep. The mind is a very powerful tool. I had to learn how to deal with my life and physical illness. Trust me you would feel the same if you slowly lost your ability to move and control your body. Once I learned how to deal with my anxiety the voices started to leave and I quite having this experience. I am glad I got through. I am grateful to be an adult. I always wanted responsibility. It feels so good to finally have what I wanted. Responsibility and my own home. I have been living on my own for seven years now. Yay! for me.