Amongst The Rose’s I Am Considered A Weed

“You might like it if I
were shady like you.”

I am like a daisy
amongst the roses,
I am considered as a weed.

I am wild and free,
I am not like the others around me.

I have made my bed under the trees,
I have shade and cover
but the roses like to tease me,
trying to steal my
comfortable bed.

I have done nothing but keep
my side of the street clean,
only to have my neighbors
dump their trash on my walkway.

© 2018 By Amanda D Shelton


Relationship Update 😟

Hello my beautiful Bat Brat’s,

I have some bad news. Today was a hard day. I found out my boyfriend has been using drugs again. I thought something was wrong with him. He doesn’t support me nor respect me. He accused me of cheating and not giving him support again. After I gave him church, God, AA, and tools. I am sick and he goes and accuses me of cheating and not giving him support as well. Crap! Wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t sick. I would never cheat. He has been dishonest, he used me until I have nothing and he then accusses me of not giving him support. After he chose drug’s over a healthy happy relationship with me. Now I am dealing with his damages again.

I am done. He can be alone. He neglected me anyway. How is it going to hurt him when he made the decision? I had no choice. I still don’t. I am such a fool. I hate this. I should know better. If he doesn’t use AA like he should I will never trust him. I can’t trust him. For now I am hurting mentally and physically. Stupid pain disorders, why do I have to have three? Why couldn’t I have something that’s not painful? I would rather have a mental break down then being in this pain. I have been through mental break downs before and they are easier than dealing with this pain. Grrr!

Why are people dishonest? Why do people not take responsibility for their actions? I would never lie and cheat. I never had the need to. I would rather work for everything. I have suffered a lot to get where I am today. I would never compermise that.

I hate this. I am a fool. I fell for a bully, who doesn’t care about my situation.

It’s not my fault I got sick. I fought very hard trying to get well and figure out what was wrong. I didn’t want to have all these health problems. I had plans for the future to start a business and travel places. I thought I took care of my illnesses. I only got rid of one, the schizophrenia. Why could I do that but not my other illness? I tried so hard.

I don’t know what else to do so I am blogging about it. Plus you guys understand. We all have issues and happy times. It’s part of being human. We wouldn’t hurt if we weren’t aware of things. We wouldn’t fall in love if we couldn’t understand the concept of love.

Relationships are hard work. Don’t think for one moment that love is always a magical place and feeling. Love can hurt, tear your world into pieces, and leave you exhausted, and beat. It leaves scares, bruises, and painful memories. It can also bring patience, understanding, and comfort. All of those things take time to build and remodel. A relationship is a full time job, it’s demanding and exhausting sometimes.

I need prayers and support. Also please keep Seany in your prayers too. He’s the one who is having the problem. I am worried about him. The hard thing I have to do is wait it out. I can’t do anything else. He has a lot of support because I made sure of it. Just remember that we all suffer through this life. We all need love and some type of support.

♥️ Sending you my love, my beautiful Bat Brat’s. Thank you for being you. You are awesome sauce to my ice cream. 🍧

Neglected Shadow

I am like a shadow to your life,
but one that carries your strife.

You slice me open with your
lack of care, you push me
to the side as if I wasn’t there.

You say nice things,
but never do those things.

You complain about everything,
you are loud when I need silence.

You never gave me
the support I need.

You used me but never
give me the time I need.

You are selfish and needy,
you act jealous and greedy.

I feel confined and used,
like a par of holy shoe’s.

I feel like I am a prick
to your time and space,
for you have complained about
being here for me and
that you don’t have time for it.

I got sick and you make
me feel guilty for it.

You say sorry but never show it.

You broke my heart,
you damaged my trust,
you threw me away.

You pushed me over the edge
only to watch me fall,
and laugh as I fell.

You shut me off,
as if you think I have no feelings,
as if you saw me as one of your

You broke my motherboard,
left me in pieces,
you are more willing to fix your electronics then our relationship.

I am lonely and neglected,
you turned your back
while I cried.
You never were there,
like you said you would be.

I can’t rely on you for nothing,
you would rather just
stand there and do nothing.
That’s exactly what you have done,
while I was left crying and

© 2018 By Amanda D Shelton

To Seany, you haven’t been loving and supportive. You hurt me. 😔

Lost But Not Forgotten

My stepdad passed away a few days ago. I wrote this poem and waiting until I was strong enough to share it. I am ready now.

Forgotten you are not,
but lost you are.

My heart quickened when I heard
the news of your passing.

I wanted to say so many things to you
but sadly with a heavy heart
I have to let you go.

I have suffered many broken heart’s,
I have collected my losses in my jars of broken dreams.

Each one I protected;
I bared my soul for all
whom I love, I suffer because
I love you.

To lose a piece of your heart
is like cutting away at bare skin,
it’s raw painful and crude.
I bleed for you.

RIP Boby Ray,
you were and always will be
special to me.

Your memory lives on through everyone who reads this
and those who knew you in life.

You suffer no more pain and strife
for now you are in heaven
living a Holly life.

God speed my
beautiful friend and father.


I am proud to call you my stepdad.

© 2018 By Amanda D Shelton

Your Collection Of Broken Hearts

Hearts shatter so easily,
the pieces are sharp and crude.

The fragile pieces keep
cutting into my life,
making new wounds each time.

You take your knife
pushing it deeply
into my already broken life,
you screw it deeper
until there’s nothing left
for me to bleed out.

You collect my suffering
in your dirty jar’s,
savoring my last heart beat
as if waiting for another
so you can take one more slice
just incase it didn’t fell
the jars to there brem.

You have become a grim reminder,
I shouldn’t trust you
as my friend or lover.

Sadly I have been through hell
many times before,
and I have grown stronger.

© 2018 By Amanda D Shelton

Savage Heart

Like a dagger tearing
through my chest,
you slash and break
everything I hold
inside the chamber
of my heart.

Your words are
like burning embers,
they scar and maim
my fragile heart.

With your wicked tung
comes wicked words,
hurtful and damaging,
careless and savage.

What makes it hurt worse,
I love you.

© 2018 By Amanda D Shelton

Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day
From: Me
To: You

I am hoping,
wishful thinking,
of a place where
everyone is happy.

I am hoping,
some what wishing,
my heart romancing about you.

There once was a place
where everyone
held a smile on their face,
but one dreary day,
the clouds drew a gray sky
as every body gazed
upward to the sky,
the clouds rolled over
revealing their silver linings,
it broke and sadness
fell from their eyes.

It rained for years, with tears in every eye.

© 2018 By Amanda D Shelton

Dust In The Wind

I have left you hope
to remember me by,
like a ghost in the wind,
I last for as long as the wind
carries me onwards
through time.

I blew away like a wish,
or a phantom kiss
seeking a cheek
so fair and far away.

I faded like an old memory
passed on through the generations
until nothing is left of the original me.

I left you hope but you found
old memories instead, a ghost.

Some day I will fade like everything usaully does over time.

Dust in the wind
that’s all I am eventually.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

Broken Mind

I lost it one thought at a time,
blue, brown, and purple
a bruised mind shines.

Our minds are the most valuable
part of our bodies,
yet we shove junk into its chasm,
thinking it’s strong enough,
and deep enough to keep throwing
everything into its gray matter.

Yet we watch as time slowly steals
our previous donations to living.

Slowly it degrades,
it starts to decay,
lossing ourselves to the false
beliefs that society proclaims
to be true.

It eats you, breaks you
like a piece of moldy bread.

You fall to pieces,
laying ground for your
future endeavors,
only to loss track of your

A broken mind,
a deep well of madness,
slowly fells to the brim
of broken memories
and forgotten treditions.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

To My Broken Love 

Nothing is left,
the pieces have fallen apart,
until they are too small to see.

I am to insignificant for you
to care,
I am like a wound
itchy and bothersome,
you wish I wasn’t there.

My soul is always out in the open,
it’s bare and naked
for all to see.

My scares are visible,
kinda hard not to see
my suffering,
for I wear my struggles
on my sleeve.

My armor has a weakness,
it is you.
I never forgot how much
I love you.

You are tattooed upon my heart,
I have your name stitched
upon my soul.

Everyone knows who you are
because I have no secrets
no mask to wear.

You are my pain,
my dying heart you hold tightly.

My love you have,
my heart you choked
with your brutal needs for more.

The heart is greedy,
it can cause the mind
to be needy.

Such pain love can bare,
causing the oceans to flood,
the walls to fall into the pushing
oceans of your love.

Doesn’t matter how much I share,
you don’t care.

To my broken love.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

Hard To Breathe

When did it get so hard to breathe?
When you accused me.
I have nothing else to give
because you have all of me.

I suffer through,
I hurt too.
Yet still you don’t give a damn,
except about you.

I fought hard,
my angel’s fought harder,
yet you won beating me harder.

I die each time you accused me.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

“To my broken love, he knows who he is.💔

Bruised Heart Lost Its Flow

My heart is sore,
it’s hard for me to breathe
at times.

You seem not to care
I don’t understand your need
for more,
or your need to push
and bully.

Life never slows down for you,
life never speeds up for you,
you have to go in the direction life chose for you.

Once you stop fighting it’s flow,
life will seem easier,
and more precious then ever before.

Life trys to teach you patience,
it trys teaching you how to grow,
but it is up to you where you go.

I am always behind you,
never do you put my needs
to the front of the line.

You act as if you think life should stop for you, as if you don’t have time.

You have more than you know my friend, you have more than most do.

You don’t even have to work for a dime,
or wait for others to take care of you.

You don’t seem to notice
all the time I have given to us.

You seem to notice everything
you think you lack,
instead of remembering
all our good times
we’ve had.

I wish I could open your eyes
show you everything you have.

I think it wouldn’t matter to you though
because you hardly see past
your nose.

Half of the time,
I don’t know if I can trust you,
I don’t know if I should.

Should I be questioning myself
or should I let you go?

It’s hard sometimes.

My heart is sore,
and my mind is tired.

I think you don’t care,
you only see yourself in such times like these.

All I can do is pray for you,
while I am on my knees
crying for you.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

“I pray for my heart that he will come back to me. I pray he stops judging me. I pray he finds peace.”  

Mom I Will Always Miss You

She left me on a tear drop,
I can still remember her voice,
as if she spoke to me
through her tears.

She took with her my fears,
my love flew by her side,
my heart stayed behind.

I will always remember her smile,
her hair, and her eyes,
blue like the ocean tides.

I will always remember
how she held me while I cried,
she wiped my tears,
helped me fight my fears.

Aw my mother,
she flew to heaven
with the angels who stole her
from the Earth.

While my heart quaked,
and my life shook from it’s foundation,
I lost her in one moment.

Not a breath was wasted,
not a tear forgotten,
each one turned into a memory.

Never will she fade
for she lives on in my DNA.

She’s my mother,
mom, best friend, confidant,
and queen of all I hold dear,
she is and always will be
my mother.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton


Love broke my heart,
love stole my everything,
love damaged my heart,
now it is sore, bruised, and used.

But my love is sick
it stressed me out
until my blood poured all my energy out.

Now my heart is damaged,
heartbroken and crushed.

My love he doesn’t seem to notice.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

“Brokenhearted with high blood pressure. You wonder if someone can die from a broken heart if I get high blood pressure after my boyfriend started telling me I don’t love him enough. How horrible that he would say such a thing to anyone.” 

Goodnight My Moonflower 

One dreary day a flower
grew in a baren landscape,
soon over grown and gray.
All the flowers rotted away,
leaving ghostly perfume
and misty dreams for those
who came to pick the flowers. 

As the night fell upon the fields
of ghostly petals,
one grew above the others.
It was a Moonflower. 

Like the others
soon the Moonflower
withered and died.
Never to set eyes on the morning sky.
Now I cry while the rain falls slowly.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

Cry Me A River

Tears are worse then fear,
They sting, cling,
and shows your pain.

Cry me a river,
cry me a river of pain,
cry me a river of tears;
drink from the bank’s of unstoppable sadness and fear.

Rapids rear,
beating hearts sing,
as love strikes the strings.

Breaking base,
as the drummer’s march
along the bank,
lover’s dance
as the river parts,
leaving each one separated.

River of tears flow
steady and fast,
running through the trees,
swallowing all who
stand in its path.

Love cried me a river
while I played with
its broken strings.

The river never allowed
me to pass.
As I cried a river
flooding the path.

Cry me a river of broken dreams.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

Love Doesn’t Judge

Without remorse
without regret
you judged me,
I have been broken,
accused, abused,
and used by the man
who says he loves me
no matter what.

Where’s the love you talked about?
where’s the I love you?

You left me in the dirt,
broken, beaten, and bruised.

Love gives all,
but it’s how it’s used
that makes a relationship
grow or bruise.

I have been judged
by the man who said
I love you.

He has a sharp tongue,
it cuts me deep,
as he rubs his salty breath
along the edge of my pain.
Stinging my soul,
beating my faith
until none is left.

To be judged,
is a painful trail.

All I ever wanted was
to be loved.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

Sad Love (I Wish The Best For Him)

I was accused and abused,
I trusted a man who stole
right from my hand.

Because I believed if someone says they love you,
that means they have respect for you.
I am wrong,
love doesn’t make someone trustworthy or a nice person.

Being honest happens
when someone is truthful,
Being nice happens
if someone is truly nice.

If you are a nice person deep inside you won’t find it hard to be kind.
You won’t have to work at it,
because it’s been there the whole time.

I have been told by one person ever,
How he thinks I am horrible
and dishonest,
when I am too sick to even care
to be mean or cruel,
I never was a dishonest fool.
I never cared to lie,
I would rather work for my dime.

I have fought for survival,
I didn’t get here by cheating
and taking what I didn’t work for.

He did,
He stole from me
and lied to my family and friends.
He didn’t bat an eye,
He showed no morals.
Yet he was quick to blame me
telling me something is wrong
with my mind.
He never admitted to his crime’s.

I feel hated and used,
horribly accused:
by a man who used I love you
until it hurt me.

Sadly I have to tell you,
I am ashamed of him.
I am ashamed that he treated me
in such a way.
I am ashamed that he judged me
poorly and that he judged me at all.
I am also ashamed of myself,
for allowing it to go on
for so long.

Love is not judgemental,
Love is not boastful,
Love doesn’t care how old you are,
Love doesn’t care what raise you are,
Love doesn’t tell you lies,
Love doesn’t spit in your eye,
Love is a feeling that transcends
all time.

I am left in tears…
Sad love bit me hard
leaving it’s scares.

© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

Eternal Pain

It is a night of ethereal pain,
a song of sorrow rakes my wane,
ghosts of my past vent their howls.

The ethereal souls stir;
fog shrouds their stalking frame,
their brooding agony fallows me.

Moon beams cascade over
dark and tragic shadows,
and the sorrow of my pain
fade to gray, as my life
begins to change.

Now a night of shared tears,
I remember my pain
as a ghost remembers
their past life.

 © By Amanda D Shelton


Lonely like a shadow
in shades of gray.
Lonelyness came upon me,
out of nowhere it creeped up
and sat beside me.

Like a rose time passed by
but left its perfume in this place.
A reminder of what I never did,
a reminder of my disability.

Lonelyness never gave notice to me,
lonelyness egnord,
and betrayed me.

Lonelyness buried me
within its gloom.
Lonelyness taught me
the feelings of
empty rooms,
empty hand’s,
and an empty heart

Lonelyness taught me the values of friendshipe.
But most of all lonelyness never called.

© By Amanda D Shelton

On The Sea Of Doom

On the sea of doom,
I stand upon its shores,
waiting for the dream to end.

Though the waves seem
turbulent and rough,
no surfe can take me down
without a fight.
So I stand waiting for
the right moment,
I wait for the wave
I chose to ride.

As a proe,
I surfe the highest tides
as I become one with the waves.

“I might suffer but I don’t suffer in silence. I am like a siren calling to the seamen, who stroke my pain with their fisherman hand’s. Beware of the waves I dare to bring. I will show no mercy to my suffering.”

© By Amanda D Shelton

The Candle I Once Was

I once burned like a candle,
I slowly burnt down to
the bottom of my wick.
All went dim as the flame turned
to smoke.

My ashes lingerd as my ghost
moved like the flame it once was.

This candle lost her light,
only to find a burnt match
in its grip,
waiting to light what already
molted and frayed,
my dicay slowly ran down the table,
leaving burnt marks alone the way.

This candle burnt down a life,
only to watch Jack burn his trousers
upon the flame.

Her mind lost hope
but hope always found her
in the dark,
lighting the candle with lost dreams
and forgotten wishes.

I once burned like a candle,
My hope lingered like smoke.

I never thought I would get burned by the flame that once lit my way.

© By Amanda D Shelton

Cheating Pain 

Can pain cheat?

I think so.

Pain doesn’t just leave,
nope, it leaves it’s scars
and badge behind.

It doesn’t pick up after it leaves,
nope, pain doesn’t think
about your well-being,
nor does it care you have a life
to live.

Pain can make everything heavy,
and it destroys everything you build,
even self-esteem.

I should know,
I suffer from its constant

I feel I want to screem,
but pain makes it impossible
to even think and move;
instead I choke.

Silently I do screem.

Though my poetry is a way
I break the silence.

Let us all realise,
let’s screem together folks.

Pain hurts, pain pokes,
pain leaves tears,
and wasted dreams behind.

Pain has wasted my time.

© By Amanda D Shelton

Upkeep For The Dead

The flowers beckon,
with their sent of decay,
weathered are they
who grow in the day.

The grass beckon at my feet,
my sences want and wait
for the sun to worm my ghost.

The stone is baren but not alone,
for the dead keep good

I am their keeper,
for the dead need company.

Sadness Is A Friend Of Mine

I Will Not Allow Depression To Define Me


I once sat with sadness,
ate at his table, drank his tea,
and partied with his friends.

Through it all,
I lived with suffering
as I prayed on my knees for

No one should have to live through

I made friends with sadness,
so my suffering had to leave.

I learned how to cope,
I learned depression will not be
what defines me.

Sadness is a friend of mine.

I am not nutty, I ‘m allergic to nuts.

I am batty. Duh! 


© By Amanda D Shelton


Love Hurts

I fell and I can’t get back up.

All I saw were two feet,
once in awhile a hand
would reach for mine,
but like always
he threw me down
into a tashben of broken dreams.

Our love was softly spoken,
but fragile and glass like.

Emotions reflected truth,
but over time they became
over flowing with suffering
and pain.

Fragments of happier times
scatter across my mind
saturating my brain.

Yet still no time can heal
these two woven soul’s,
our happier times no longer
there rooted by tears
that never had time to dry,
its caused cracking
and chipping,
it started to fade out,
like a horrible nightmare
of screaming lover’s
torn apart by drought,
and angery greedy pain.

Love knows where to stab,
knows where to stick
its needles,
and its needless garbage.

Love is heavy,
dangerous too
if you don’t understand
its pull and tug.

Its waves could devour you,
you never saw the giant wave
ready to crash down upon your life.

It took all you had and more.

Love hurts sometimes,
love takes all you’ve got
stool you’re feelings
and your plot.

Love hurts sometimes,
leaving large gashes
in your heart.

Love hurts…

Life Is Completed

Life is complected,
I still don’t understand everything, 
I still have issues. 

Life is a pain,
a struggle,
a fight.

Even though you push with all your might,
Life pulls you back
into the light. 

Your breath becomes heavy,
the labor becomes weathering,
Your life gets rooted
as your flower begins to wither.

Your pot has cracked its paint chipped and rusted.

Time has left you crusted,
and moving like molasses. 
Life is crubling,
rumbling under my feet. 

I brace for impact
yet still I loss my ground.
I fall faster each time
I take the plunge. 

It seems it doesn’t matter
if I prepare for the fight
or not,
life still steps on my feet.

Life is completed, 
Life is deep,
Life is windy,
Life is steep.

Ode To Melancholy

Oh melancholy
woe is me,
woe is me forever.

Is sorrowful,
pitiful, and yellow.

Woe, woe is me!
Oh melancholy,
melancholy woe is me.

and pitiful,
woe, woe is me!

Melancholy take me,
oh woe is me
my melancholy.

Melancholy and me
woe as we,
a deep,
ode to melancholy from me.