How Sad

When I thought everything was going well,
that’s when you let me down.

You played with my heart strings,
like a jerk on the string.

You pulled me up
until I seemed strong again,
only to throw me down.

You then picked me up again,
only to throw me down.

You bruised my heart,
with your brutal jerk.

I fell down the rabbit hole,
hearing your laugh slowly fade
as I fell deeper into the pain.

You shattered my life
like a piece of tempered glass.

You washed my wound’s
only to give me another lash.

Painful love,
is painful You.

How sad.

© 2017 By Amanda D Shelton

2 thoughts on “How Sad”

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lexiebrookeblog says:

November 17, 2017 at 5:52 PM

Wow, this is amazing! So creative and powerful. Just found your blog and I can’t wait to follow your writing.

LikeLiked by 1 person

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1. Amanda D Shelton says:
  
  November 17, 2017 at 5:54 PM
  
  Thank you very much. Poetry is my way of dealing with life. I am glad you like my work. I am a bit emotional today so there are a few new poems I posted. I hope you enjoy.
  
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  Reply

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Ginger Beans Passed Away From Unknown Illness – And I Adopted A New Kitty Named Storm

Hello my lovelies, so I haven’t posted updates about my life in a long while. I’ve been dealing with health issues and my cat Ginger Beans got sick two weeks ago on Thursday and he had to go to the emergency veterinary hospital. I spent $2,000 trying to save him but he was suffering from fluid on his lungs from unknown infection. I said goodbye to Bean on Thursday afternoon, they will scatter his ashes out at Sea. The hospital staff took great care of him and I had to let him go. He was in pain and dying. I am sad but Storm is going to keep me busy so I don’t get depressed. He’s very cuddly and relaxed and he’s very sweet and comfortable with me. He loves the food I have and I am going to buy him a new scratching table for him to have treats on and an elevated feeding station. He’s a beautiful gray male cat 4 years and 2 months old, 11 pounds and 12 ounces. Please give a big welcome to the Storm nickname Stormy Boom Boom Boy. Also, he has a sister named Lightning she is all black. I would have adopted both of them but I can’t but it’s okay. Storm is a good house cat he’s good being the only cat or he can be with others. He’s a cuddle buddy and very attached to me. I adopted him from PetSmart they adopt animals from the SPCA and pound. I even got medical records for him he’s been checked for any health issues and birth defects. He’s a healthy cat. He’s perfect for me. He’s already fully adjusted to me and the apartment. It’s like he’s been here his whole life. He’s like a dark cloud of love. I am going to try to crochet a pair of bat wings for him. It will be like a colour for his neck so it won’t be uncomfortable. He’s an indoor kitty only so no outside for this Storm. He’s a lap kitty. My Dad and stepmom got Storm for me. We went to PetSmart today and it was fun, they have several cats ready for adoption. I saw Storm and he winked at me and I felt like he would be a great cuddly boy. I ended up reading his story and they said he’s a lap kitty and very calm. He loves cuddling. I thought his name is perfect for him too so I kept it.

I am going to be getting a new electric wheelchair soon too. I am waiting for the company to call me to make an appointment for someone to come out and look at my apartment and my needs. They will customize my new electric wheelchair after that. Also, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and I have my second sleep test on the 9th to get my breathing machine. I will be feeling better after I start using my breathing medicine. I need sleep. I don’t get enough sleep because I wake up too often choking and coughing. I also have sneezing fits that wake me up and I sleepwalk a lot.

Poetic Endeavors

I used to think love
was searching for me,
I was under its tow,
and love was always
behind me.

My heart was full of
joy and magical ideas
for the future.

So naive I was,
a child dancing
on a dime of
wasted time.

Digging deeper
into my imagination
of the possibilities.
I am a dreamer of
all possibilities.

A people pleaser and
creative deep thinker,
my heart is a large chest
filled with chaotic seas,
it has endless room for love
and it’s own lock and key.

But my thoughts always
got in the way, they like to pile
on top of themselves gathering
in the forest of ideas that exist
in my mind.

Like trees poetry grows
in my head, rooted in
reality and fantasy.

I like to dress up my words
with unique Gothic designs
and beautiful flowing colors and
poetic robes full of glitter and glam,
with buckets of tears and sorrow
ready for my next tapestry.

I was born a people pleaser
and a creative deep thinker
overflowing with ideas and
I have tones of poetic endeavors.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

Moon Man Smile

Upon this lonely night,
I ponder on the stars,
as they gaze upon the earth
from their heavenly bow.

My heart is somewhat else,
my mind is lingering there too.

The night is like a curtain of darkness,
it slowly fell upon the day as the sun
bowed for its heavenly host and left
the stage and the moon came beaming
bright like a spotlight to smile upon
the night.

Smile wide moon man, smile bright
its your time to shine tonight.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

Superpowers

I have superpowers,
I can disappear and be silent
like a ghost.

I am a hollow heart, it slowly filled
with sorrow, it was dug out by love
that hurt me and left me behind
as it ran away from me into the dark.

As love devoured me I struggled,
it’s chains were tight and rotted
from my tears I cried its rust grew
and decayed.

My pillow is soaked in my blood,
my tears drowned me, the mud
came to take me down deeper
than I ever imagined.

I have superpowers,
I can disappear and be silent
like a ghost.

Shshsh! Says the past, as I walk through
the ruins of my heart on dried tears
that fell for seven years.

I have superpowers,
I can disappear and be silent
like a ghost.

I am like smoke.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

Caffeine

Rolling rolling rolling,
my thoughts are pondering.

The processing is thunderous,
static and loud as the caffeine
migrates through my body.

Calming down slowly, slowly, slowly,
grinding down to sleep as
the caffeine migrates through
my body.

Caffeine! It grinds my gears
for a moment and slowly calms
me down so I can sleep.

Gives me purpose to move around
to build things, and think faster
than usual.

It can help me sleep at night,
as long as I use it right.

I make time for grinding down,
before I go to bed sometimes
caffeine is the pillow on my bed
and a monk when I meditate.

Caffeine can be my friend.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

A Fool

I was a fool, always searching
for the one but none were
as blind as me.

Amongst the roses are the thorns,
and the weeds lay beneath
they like to choke everything.

I was a fool, for love hit me,
tripped me and played
my heartstrings like
a fiddle.

Foolish me, always searching
for the one but none were
as blind as me.

I once laid beneath the roses
as the bush slowly wrapped itself
around my heart stabbed me deep
in the back with its thorns, as
I hydrated it’s roots with my blood
it drank my pain and stole my gain.

Love fooled me, it was beautiful
in the beginning.

Until it revealed itself,
a rose it was not and
it mistakened me for
a weed.

A fool I was, always searching for the one
but none were as foolish as me,
love blinded me with its promises
and false reality.

Loves no dream, its no magical spell
or the greatest most amazing thing ever.

Love is tragic, painful and disastrous
its painfully damaging heartbreaking
and it causes scars.

Love is powerful because its the most
beautiful, confusing disaster you will
ever experience.

Its the scars that define your strength
after a heartbreak, what bites you
can make you stronger and smarter
it can teach you how to find true love.

We all are fools to love,
the first heartbreak is
the deepest pain and
leaves the biggest scar.

To guard your heart is the most
important thing, don’t give it to
just anyone.

Find someone who enjoys life
with you and encourages you
to be your best and holds
your hand when you need
support. Also, remember to be
patient and kind.

Love is attracted to kindness
it finds it beautiful and amazing.

Love is inside of you, its part of us all.

Love is success and acceptance,
it helps build societies.

A fool in love is a fools lesson.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

Mother Nature – Revised From The Original And Extra Thoughts

Mother nature laied down
her gown with a sigh,
as she opens her eyes
to reveal the sky,
the moon winked and
she bowed and opened her mind.

As she reached for the moon
in her hands lives stars that
flew and grew into the universe
for you and I to see and to enjoy.

So remember this,
when you look at the heavens,
you are looking at your
future and past and now is
the crossroads to both,
and this moment is
the most important.

Those stars are parts of you
and everything it has touched.

That means we are the universe
and the universe is ours to explore.

We are only limited by
what we can imagine.

———————
My favorite quote and extra thoughts it provokes.

“Faith, without faith there’s no possibilities
but with faith there’s no impossibilities.”

Faith is believing.

Doesn’t matter what you believe,
your beliefs are powerful because
it’s capable of changing the world
through your actions. You are capable
of causing damage and growth so
you should be careful how you use your
faith.

You are proof of the power of believing
in something bigger than yourself.

Like love, it is very powerful.

The power of love is beautiful
and ugly it can be painful
and growth.

The way we deal with the pain,
is what defines our growth and
the strength of love lost and found.

Toot toot! ring ring! The Narcissist

Trump repeats himself
because he can’t imagine
anything else.

He got to a black hole and
jumped inside now he’s
honking his horn and
ringing the bell on his
handlebars, riding around
on his bike in circles in the dark.

You can imagine hearing him
honking his horn and ringing the bell,
toot toot! ring ring! over and over again.

The narcissist is like a clown on a bike,
they toot their horn and ring the bell
on their handlebars in the dark
riding in circles going nowhere fast,
but they believe they are
flying to the moon fueled
by their own farts.

If only that was true we wouldn’t have to deal with the damages that narcissists do.

They belong on the moon.

A Haunted Heart

Daisies in bloom,
loves choking on you.

Digging for corpses,
ghosts from past love affairs
tangled in the roots.

Walking in moonlight upon
loves grave, it haunts my heart,
after you left a hole formed,
and you broke your vows
and the bow break’s causing
you to fall into the deep emptiness
that was your heart.

Happy Valentine’s,
may love rest in pieces
upon hollowed ground.

Sad me – Seasons Change Collection – Star

I once stood like a tree,
my roots were free but grounded
at my feet.

My seasons changed, pain falling
like leafs fly from my life.

That like a seed, I bloomed
I grew and I shed my leafs
to release the ghosts
from the old me.

I then flew free, to the wind
I am smoke, a shadow of
my former self remained,
and under my shade
I protect my heart.

I once had a beaten heart,
bleeding on the floor
gasping for air under pressure.

Now I carry scars from
past battles and struggles.

My tree is rooted plotted deeply
and strong.

Life took me deep, it tried
to devour me in its dark
places. But I burned brighter
and hotter, being the beacon
for myself because no one else
can be my light.

My life is so much more than
shadows and scars.

Because God gave me the power
to burn like a star.